Secret lullaby
by Yueres De Leo
Summary: Her secret was something that she didn't want anyone to know, it was something it was supposed to be only for her to know. But without knowing, she was the one who gave him the clues to discover it, she was the one who led him to where they were now, she was the only one to blame. And know, there was no way back, not anymore. SethxOC an imprint story.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, hey! I just wanted to say hi and to say that well, this is one of my first Twilight fanfic so please give me your opinion to know if I should continue this. Hope you like it! Ah, and I should warn you: Mi original language is Spanish, and my English sucks, so I hope you don't hate this fic for that.**

**Enjoy!**

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"The Happiness is from the inside, not the outside; so, it doesn't depend on what we have, but in what we are"

Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933) U.S.A writer.

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Inside my concept of a normal appearance, I fit perfectly in the environment in which I spent all day or at least to a certain point. I was half Quiletue after all, so the black hair was not a surprise. My true stature was something I wanted to forget: nobody knew I always wore platforms to school, hoping that with that no one would notice my statue. But still, some people say that I am too small. If they knew the truth behind my shoes.

My skin was kind of normal I guess, It was not tanned like the 100% Quileutes, but not so pale to not be considered as one.

Remember when I said "To some extent"? Well, that a point is in my eyes, but it was a detail that I would like not to comment at this time.

For me, there was nothing new in people staring at as I passed, and then whisper behind my back when they thought I couldn't hear them. They were wrong, but it was not in my plans to point that out, so I always did the same thing I've done for the last year and a half, I kept walking. It was not annoying, so it did not matter.

Sometime before graduating they will stop doing that, I guess, or I'll have to live with the same looks until I go out of school and go to college, where I hoped I will be with open minded people, and I had in my favor that those persons wouldn't know me at all from before.

But for now, I could do only one thing besides walking.

I ignored them, and I had become pretty good at it, so I could stand like this as long as necessary. I had won myself having to do this so I could not complain; I had no right to even think about it.

The room, for when I arrived, was empty as usual at that hour of the morning. I have always been the first one to arrive, the only one that had nothing to do before going to school in the morning or even enter to the first class. I sat in the same chair I had used since I started school: The chair of the table in front of the class, which was near to the window.

I sat there when I leave the bag lying on the table, leaning in the back of the chair with the headphones practically glued to my ears. It was a routine; I had no longer to think of any movement, my body just moved by it self.

So everything was easier.

Or at least I think so.

My life, in basic terms, is based on a routine that depending on the day was different or not. There were two types of routine: In one, I use my free periods to take the car without anyone seeing me, I would lead to the nearest cafe and ask for two hot chocolates to takeaway, and then I would come back and give one to my brother.

In the other, he was the one that went out and brought them, it was the one where he was the one to have free periods.

But beyond that, there was nothing that I was not used to do, so my body basically moved by it self all day.

So everything was easier.

Or at least I think so.

The movement that was in the air was my alarm to take out the books from the backpack that was still on the table. No need to turn around to know that most people were already there, no need to take off my headphones to know that Caroline Mcensi - the blonde captain of the cheerleaders, who I think spends more time looking at herself in the mirror than thinking- was reporting her followers some sort of rumor.

As you may have noticed, I am not what is called the most popular girl in school- and that, my friends, didn't matter at all. Moreover, I rarely spoke to anyone besides my brother who was one year and a half older than me; my verbal expressions that were not addressed to him were reduced to my answers in class when a teacher asked me something.

Bad thing I was always sitting at the first table.

But if I didn't, the chances of being able to see what was written on the board were low, almost zero, and I refused to take my contact lenses off- even if they clouded my view, that was not an option. Although I know that wearing sunglasses inside the building wasn't the best way of helping that, but I couldn't help it, I felt _safe _this way.

Anyway, back to the topic and summarizing: I'm an antisocial is far from stop being one, and my expectations in high school was to go through it by being unnoticed.

Not even had a table companion, which sometimes was good-I mean, I didn't had to go through uncomfortable moments of long and tedious silence, because of my inability to start a conversation, and if that person did start a conversation, unfortunately, I didn't have the ability to answer. This way I saved myself and that unlucky persona from that type of situation. I could also leave my books all over the table without worry and nobody would say anything.

And so, dear friends, that was basically how I lived my school life.

Not the best, but it was acceptable, tolerable, and from what I could or could not say it was perfect.

I took my Ipod from the front pocket of my jean, unlocking it and then putting pause to the music with a sigh.

"Excuse me!"

With or without headphones to protect my ears, the voice volume of the person who apparently was against the side of the table was quite high. I remove the headphones and turned my head to see the person who was standing, indeed, across the table, right next to the chair that was empty. Apparently he had been calling me for a while.

I think I jumped a couple inches in surprise before sighing and noticing that it was a human voice and not some kind of real danger.

I winced when I noticed that the person was so tall that by just this gesture I couldn't see his face, I had to raise my head to look in his eyes, being polite. When I completely saw him, I was quite surprised.

Seth Clearwater.

If I remembered properly it was the boy who had grown up in a couple of days what the average person grow in years. It was, according to others of my classmates and all my _female _cassmates, the most popular person in the class. Why if I studied with him I was surprised to see him? Simple, the boy had missed a whole month without coming to classes because of a serious illness, that was what the principal told us.

I had never spoken to him, that was another reason why I was surprised by his presence. We had been studying together since 1 grade and I had never spoken to him.

But there he was- standing next to my desk, looking at me as if it was the first time he saw another human in his life, something I noticed when my eyes fell on his.

Strange.

"Yes?" I stared at him, waiting for him to answer, but he only opened and closed his mouth slightly as if he was trying to find the words. I frowned. He was the one who had called me, he did not have anything in mind? That seemed a little strange. Was he really okay?

I was about to re-focus on the books, but apparently he had left his mental lapse.

"I-I'm sorry" He shook his head, as if speaking to himself, "I shouldn't have yelled ... Eh ... I was wondering if I could move your books, is the only space left and.. .well. .. " He looked to the floor, and I could have sworn I saw as he blushed.

I supposed that someone had entered the class and had taken his place while he was sick, so it was pretty obvious that the only seat left was the one next to me. Poor guy.

"Sure, sorry for the inconvenience"

"No, no, not a problem at all!" Before I completely stretch my arms to take my things he was putting all the books in a pile, leaving it in the middle of the table. His voice was anxious, and I wondered for a moment if he had some kind of hurry, but it was logical since the teacher would come through the door at any moment "Thanks" He seemed to hesitate a moment, but then smiled quite broadly. I think it's the second person who smiles at me that way, the first was my brother. Although my mind told me there was a third person, but my memory was failing me to even remember the image of that person.

"No problem"

And with that, I turned my head to backpack.

Don't get me wrong, it was not like I didn't to make conversation, but knew it would end badly, was the fact that it was Seth Clearwater. Remember when I said that my expectation was to go through school unnoticed? Now it makes sense my way to see the situation, right?

Also, for some reason I didn't know, I was nervous.

I really don't know why, but I was deciding between the fact that the entire room had fallen silent, and was I quite sure that they we were watching us or the fact that Seth didn't seem to want to take his eyes off me.

Uncomfortable.

Extremely uncomfortable.

"Ehh ..." I could see from the corner of my eye as he scratched the back of his neck before leaving his bag on the table and sit down, writhing uncomfortably in his seat. I frowned again. I felt hot side where I was close to him, as if his body was some kind of hot water bottle. He was sure he was okay? With a fever like that he couldn't say he had fully recovered. "I'm Seth, Seth Clearwater" I turned a little to see him again, still smiling and his body was somehow tilted in my direction.

... This was beginning to look rather strange.

"I know"

He seemed disappointed with my answer, and even opened his mouth to say something, but another deeper voice completely different interrupted him while the sound of the door closing was heard in the classroom.

"Oh, Clearwater! Glad to see you're all right now," Mr. Krinner looked at my now table companion with surprise on his face. Seth held my gaze for a few seconds more before turning his face to see the middle-aged man, smiling slightly less than before.

"Yes, I'm glad to be back"

I will be completely honest in the matter: I couldn't even imagine that one look could ever so uncomfortable.

I really try to ignore Seth-I did it with all my strength, fighting the nerves that he created with his dark eyes, but his eyes just could not go unnoticed. He had spent the entire class- looking without any restrictions, openly, as if he wanted me to turn around and say something in his face.

But I didn't.

It cost me, but I did.

And among all the reasons I had in my mind, I knew that there was my fear of not being able to look away once a get to meet his eye, thing that I would definitely regret later. And is that ... if he was going to look at me, not that I was approving it, he could at least hide it and then we could talk about it, but later. I was sure that most of the class were watching us and I still didn't even understand how the teacher had not noticed that nobody was paying attention to his class.

I was beginning to think that I had done something to make him angry, so that was why he was looking at me in that way, I would not turn around to see him just to confirm that- I was not going to send the self control that I so hardly accumulate to not even look at him with the corner of my eye

Did not even know why was bothering me so much- I didn't even know why I was putting so much interest in the matter

Two seconds after the bell rang I stood with all my stuff in hand, and two seconds after that I was walking towards the exit, passing among the crowd that began to gather around the side of the table where Seth was sitting. I could hear a chair being pulled back, crawling on the floor, but I didn't turn until I was at the door.

When I did, I saw Seth looking at me again, but after two seconds someone patted him on the shoulder and he turned to see the person, smiling.

Yep, forgotten subject.

"Did something happen?" And then, there I was, sitting on the floor under my locker while staring at some indefinite point in the wall that was in front of me. I looked up, meeting my older brother, who had a raised eyebrow as he watched me.

Elliot was, in my opinion, one of the most handsome men in this world, just after the most famous models at the time.

He was that kind of guys with short blond hair that seems to have wicks with blue eyes and that is the spitting image of an Australian surfer, those who when they were smiling gets to faint more than one lady. I don't even have the slightest idea of where he got that face, but it did not matter, my dear brother was still had, without doubt, a model's looks.

"Someone bulled?" His brow furrowed slightly but sat next to me and handed me a cup. I sighed gratefully when the hot chocolate went down my throat. "Just say yes, give me the names, five minutes, and all will be all right" He sounded serious, looked serious, and was probably _very_ serious, but he wouldn't do it.

"Nothing happened" I rest my head on the metal that was behind me.

"So what's with the face?" He frowned, raising a hand and pressing his index finger between my eyes and just above the nose "Is strange for you"

"Is just ..." I sighed and let my head drop. When I looked at him, he had an expression that said he was seriously starting to worry "don't even know what happened"

"Is not because a boy, right, Lua?" His face became even more serious and I grimaced but then I knew my own expression had changed when the image of Clearwater crossed my mind. My silence was long enough for him to draw his own conclusions "Okay: name, year, and five minutes, then everything will be fine"

"You look like a TV show, ya' know?" I look at him with a grin "Of those overprotective brothers that end loving their in-law's"

"Excuse me, but you're my little sister, and little sisters are not-"

"Allowed to have a boyfriend until college," I interrupted. I know that phrase by memory, I grew up listening to him saying that, Elliot apparently took very seriously the role of big brother when mom died, I would have four years at the moment or something like that. From that moment, there was nothing in my life that my brother didn't know, there is nothing that he wouldn't ask me, I think he know me more than I know myself. He had been my mother, my father, my confidant, my brother and even my sister, someone who by his very presence calmed me almost immediately "I have been clear about that since 6, thank you very much"

"Better safe than sorry" He shrugged.

"Have you eaten?"

"In the cafe while they were doing it" He nodded toward the cup that was in his hand and the one that he had in his "I was practically starving this morning- oh, talking about food, I have to make dinner today, something in mind?"

"Something with mushrooms"

"I don't know why I bother to ask" He smiled mockingly and I rolled my eyes "You always answer that"

"Yeah, I don't know why either" I tooke my backpack and got up, stretching a bit before taking a big gulp to the cup "I left something done in the kitchen this morning to eat on the way to the dojo in the afternoon, so we have to come by the house for a moment after school. "

"Sure" He also got up and immediately I felt extremely small. I reached his shoulders with the platforms, from what part of my family I got this stupid height? "See you at lunch, okay? I have to do some work in the biology lab before the other class starts."

"I'll get some good book" He nodded and put his arm around my shoulders, getting me close to one of his sides.

"Do not worry about anything, okay? Just be yourself" He grinned and I smiled a little. He kissed the top of my head before letting me go and walked away, waving goodbye as he walked "See you later"

I stared at the figure of my only brother a little off. Now there was only walking to the next class and sit there until lunch. Yeah, I know it was pathetic to be this dependent on my brother, but it was pretty late to change that. I spent most of my time with him- he had no girlfriend, he said he was too busy with other things to have one.

"Calm down Seth!"

And then the cry echoed through the corridor.

More than one person turned- well, all the people who were in the hall at the time. And I did it too, and I'm ashamed to say I did it when I hear the name.

It was very difficult not to see the center of attention at the moment- he was standing in the middle of the corridor while his body was shaking- Yes, shaking, while being held by the arms by two boys a little older than him, but somehow they kept some of resemblance between them, maybe his brothers. It took me a moment to realize that Seth's expression was one of complete rage, who could a person had such change of personality so drastically?

It took another second to realize that I was looking at me. And after that I basically just stand there, static, literally frozen.

I didn't break eye contact when he was they practically dragged him down the hall, and I made no attempts to do so. As he walked away- I do not know if I really saw it happen- I swear to have seen his face in sadness before disappearing from my sight.

What the hell?

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"DAMN IT!"

I'm almost completely sure that my scream echoed through all the corridors of the school, so at this moment I couldn't be more grateful that everyone was having lunch. But even thinking that the anxiety that was at that time accumulated in my chest just would not go away.

Who could I do it if my contact lenses had fallen somewhere? And all because I didn't remember for once that I couldn't pass my hands over my eyes! Now what I was supposed to do? Even if I found them I could not wear them because they were probably dirty, and I had left my backpack in the classroom and inside it were the spare contacts that I always brought to school.

Damn it!

As much as I don't want to admit it, the face of Seth Clearwater had been around my head during all the classes after the incident in the corridor. He was upset, and I didn't even know why I was bothering to remember that. I was in a bad mood for the moment when the lunch bell rang and I knew I would be like that for a while.

First, I had been sitting in the chair of the chemistry lab, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling while I questioned myself, but that didn't seem to have effect because, apparently, my subconscious was too busy fighting with it self to answer my questions.  
I was so mad at myself that I was not even hungry, so I just walked into the room where I would have classes after lunch, finding the door open as all other doors and leaving my stuff before I went into the bathroom.

The biggest mistake of my life.

Well, maybe not the biggest one, but It was in a fairly high position in the list.

I looked in the mirror and I stared at the reflection of my eyes for a fairly long time. I liked my eyes- I loved them, but they made me feel so ... vulnerable when I was in school I could not stand it.

I put down the sunglasses that I put in the top of my head to covered my eyes and breathe deeply.

Everyone was having lunch right? There was no reason for anyone to be in the hallways, right? And even if someone could were walking in them they couldn't see my eyes with glasses, right? My efforts to calm myself down were almost completely in vain, but at this situation I couldn't afford to stay here.

I had to go, grab my bag and go back to the bathroom.

It's that simple.

I cursed the person who invited the "easier said than done" that was echoing in my mind without going away.

_Take a deep breath Lua._

I didn't have to make this difficult.

So I ran and didn't slow down until I was ten feet away from the door of the classroom where my bag was. I smiled for the first time since I saw Elliot in the morning. Everything was fine, everything would be okay

Just a little more.

Five meters.

Three.

I was in front of the door and pulled a hand out to open it-just a little more.

But then the door opened forcefully, slamming my forehead and part of my nose, making my whole face fill with pain, and I could clearly hear as my glasses were broken in two because the impact. Everything happened too fast. And the pain was intense enough to make me not to worry about my glasses.

When I realized I was on the floor, I had my hands on my face, and I could smell the blood in my nose. It was disgusting, and it hurt, it hurt like hell. I opened my eyes a little and saw my hands were full of blood.

And only a person like me would think to look up in a situation, with the face full of blood and the forehead read from the impact.

Only someone with my complex would forget to put the lenses on, or at least try to cover my eyes.

Only someone as lucky as I was would watching Seth Clearwater with one hand on the door, door that just smashed into my face, showing that he had been the one who had opened it. Only I would look at him straight in the eye in that type of situation.

"Oh" He was frozen in place, even from the ground I could see that. His eyes were open and his mouth barely moved to say that, didn't even know how I could have heard it "Shit"

Yes, the worst day of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

__**If you like the fic then let's make a deal: The more reviews I got, the sooner I uploud or by it's defect, the longest the chapter will be.**

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This - Normal text.

_This - Thoughts._

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"Love is crazy, unless they love like crazy"

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**(Seth P.O.V)**

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A month.

It had been a month since the last time I had even looked at the school.

I was almost completely sure that I was the only person in the world who was glad to go to school again, in my opinion was much better than stay home studying as Sam had been planning for the past four weeks while he and the rest of me of the pack teach me how to maintain control over myself.

I can still remember the first time I brought up the subject of school- He had denied it almost immediately, but somehow the rest of the pack convince him, though it took days and days of begging and at the end we had to ask Emily for help. In the end, he agreed, making the guys promise they would keep an eye on me as long as possible.

It was a bit annoying-Okay, it was _too_ annoying, but at least it I was freer than before, and that was enough to make me happy.

"I don't even think you could get into a problem, you're always all smiles after all" Jake had said in the morning when we got to the school gate. There were not many people and the bell was about to ring. They insisted that this was the best time of arrival "In any case, we will be roaming your halls for the day"

"If I had known that I would end up doing babysitting I would have stayed to run patrol with Sam" Paul rolled his eyes, earning more than one punch in the shoulder. I just laughed, and I stared at the building before entering.

I knew I would be the last to enter the room, but I was so happy to finally change of environment that simply nothing could get me in a bad mood. Everything would be fine, I was sure.

Although that didn't took away the nerves that was growing in my stomach. I haven't seen the rest of my friends in a long time- and if they forgot me? And if now, I couldn't talk to anyone? I shook my head. I shouldn't start thinking negative things.

All would be well.

As I had planned from the beginning, I went unnoticed inside the room when I first enter. I knew that the teacher would come at any moment -I could hear his footsteps going around in one of the corridors that were near the staff room, I estimated him to arrive in a couple of minutes- and it was not my intention to start a conversation with someone that later I would need to in order to pay attention

I was excited when I saw the familiar faces of those who had been my friends since I can remember- they were talking to each other and I was sure that I had not even been noticed, so I took time to find a free chair to sit, there should be one somewhere.

I sighed with relief. There was one on the table that was at the front, which was against the wall. Walk quickly, trying to maintain a normal rhythm. There was a girl sitting on the chair by the window-I swear I had not seen her before. Was she new? She wore jeans and a white shirt that I didn't know if it was too big or it was on purpose. She was small- She was _really_ small! I blink a few times, curious when I saw her face- she had sunglasses on. Ja, how funny, what was she thinking? Could she even see with them?

"Hello" I smiled when I got to the table, but she made no move to turn around as she took the things from her bag. I could hear the music from where I was- was it me or the music was too loud? It would not be strange that she couldn't hear me. Should I touch her shoulder? "Excuse me" Try a little higher, but still no answer. I saw how she pulled out an Ipod from her pocket her touching the screen and few times, sighing "Sorry!"

Late I realized that the music had stopped and that my voice sounded too high. She even jumped because the surprise before removing the headphones from her ears.

"_Good first impression, Clearwater_" I sighed mentally.

I just hoped she was not that kind of women who began to scream for anything you said- I didn't like that kind of women. Fortunately she didn't seem like that, because she turned to me pretty calm after that. I watched as she grimaced before lifting her face slowly to look at me in the eye.

And BAM!

My world fell at my feet at the exact second that I captured the contour of her eyes in the dark glasses.

I swear, I had stopped breathing, and the strangest thing is that I felt I didn't need it anymore. Looking at her was all I needed to keep me alive.

When my world returned to work as it should, now everything went around her, there was a kind of force that pulled me toward her- and I _wanted_ to pull towards her. I wanted to hug her, to protect her, wanted her to trust me. I wanted to be for her, wanted her to know that I was there for what she needed.

I was hers.

I belonged to the most beautiful girl in the world-her hair was soft, black, long. Her face was shaped like a heart and her skin was considerably paler than mine. And her eyes? I wanted to see her eye- I _needed_ to see her eyes, I felt incomplete simply because of not knowing what color they were.

"Yes?"

Her voice was soft; it was the most beautiful music I had heard so far. And here I was, standing, looking like an idiot, completely speechless. What was I going to say? I didn't know, couldn't remember.

I had imprinted on the most beautiful girl in the world, and she was upset about me not saying anything. I was the one who had upset her, she surely thought that I was an idiot! Now what I do? Now what I do!? WHERE WAS JARED WHEN I NEEDED HIM!?

Come on Clearwater, pull yourself together, react! Say something! Anything! She's turning to see her stuff again.

"I-I'm sorry" Oh my god, my mouth starts working again and that's the best it can say? I shook my head, I didn't knew I could get so disappointed in myself " I shouldn't have yelled ... Eh ... I was wondering if I could move your books, is the only space left and... well ..." I looked down immediately, feeling my cheeks burning.

Was that the best I could say? Seriously? Nice one, Clearwater!

Now she thinks I'm an idiot, yep, I'm sure.

I'm a disgrace.

"Sure, sorry for the inconvenience"

I froze for a moment. How could she even get to _think_ she was and inconvenience for me? for anyone? She was so small and delicate that hopefully would become a threat to an ant! She stretched her arms to get her things, but my body had just moved first.

" No, no, not a problem at all!" Well, at least my mouth had decided to cooperate with me in the end of everything. It was not a lost cause, I could recover. Maybe I had a chance to do it! I put the books in a pile and then put it in the middle of the table "Thanks" Breathe deep, I would have to start from now. I smiled widely, waiting her to accept that.

"No problem"

And she turned her head.

Oh god, oh god. She hated me! I was quite sure of that!

"_Take a deep breath. Don't panic, there are still many possibilities_."

The situation when Emily hated Sam was five times worse than this and at this moment they were planning their wedding, so I had nothing to worry about right?

"Eh ..." I scratch the back of my neck for calm power. Okay, well, I can do this. I dropped my bag on the table and sat down. Oh my god, her smell was divine, I haven't smelled something so extraordinary in my life. Clearwater Concentrate, concentrate ... as if I could concentrate so close to her. I had to wallow in the chair to not give her a hug! This was harder than I thought "I'm Seth, Seth Clearwater"

I smiled, leaning a little toward her. I wanted to be near her, as much as I could.

She again looked at me for a moment and I held my breath.

"I know"

And she turned her away.

My mouth opened and I felt like my face was crumbling. How did she know? We haven't seen each other before, right? right!? I couldn't have no noticed her! It was impossible to ignore someone like her! What was her name? I opened my mouth to ask, but somebody stopped me.

" Oh, Clearwater! Glad to see you're all right now" I was sure I had never hated so much Mr. Kinner in my whole life. I looked at her face for a few seconds and I had to make me look away to look at him with a polite smile.

"Yes, I'm glad to be back"

And it was not a lie.

* * *

She hated me, that was clear when she practically ran out of the room when the bell rang for the first break. I had planned to run after her but I was surrounded by the rest of my classmates, and I couldn't get rid of them until after many minutes.

I had run to where I knew she had walked, her smell was strong, I could recognize it anywhere.

But then I saw that stupid bastard who had his filthy arms around her, smiling. I had been frozen for a moment and then, he kissed her- He kissed what's mine. And I was about to lose control, I was two seconds away from phasing and rip his head in one movement. But Quil and Embry stopped me in time and pulled me to the bathroom upstairs.

"You knew this was possible Seth" Jake was the one who had stayed with me inside, Embry guarding the door for anyone to enter inside, Quil had gone to change their books. I had been sitting on the floor for what seemed like hours "It was just bad luck, but you must respect her decisions,"

I just wanted her to be happy.

But I was selfish enough to want her to be happy with me.

I wanted to see her-I _had_ to see her, but I was forced to stay her. They said it was dangerous for many people, it was dangerous to be around her if I was not sure I was completely calm. How could they think I could hurt her? Never, I would never hurt her! It would be like committing suicide!

The only thought scared me so much that I was not even hungry at lunchtime.

"Come, even if you want you can't stay here all day, the people will began to suspect" And so I was dragged to another location, the history classroom I think, I didn't really pay attention.

But it was when they opened the door of the room that I realized. I could smell it- I could smell _her_.

"Is her bag" not even half a second later I found it. It was on the table that was at the front, almost the same when we had class in the morning.

"Okay, it's a good sign," Embry nodded and smiled, patting my back "Try to start a conversation with her, remember that the imprint is part of the two of you, is impossible to resist the union"  
I nodded, taking a deep breath. Indeed, I had several opportunities to start a healthy and fulfilling friendship.

Yes, everything would be fine ...

"I need to go to the bathroom a moment" Damn, my bag, not interest me much but I didn't want to leave a bad impression looking like an idiot who comes to class without books.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to leave"

"It will only be just a moment," Of course it would be only a moment, the longer it takes less time to spend with her when she return to the room. With that thought in mind I opened the door, perhaps stronger than necessary.

And I froze.

She was sitting on the floor with her hands on her face, covering it and letting out little squeals of pain. The smell of fresh blood came to my nose and I could see a bump began to take shape in her forehead. The sunglasses had fallen to the floor, broken in half.

She removed her hands from her face for a moment, and my worst fears came true, it was _her_.

I watch her hands were full of blood, and then she looked at me.

If we were not in the situation, I would be admiring the eyes that I had waited so long to see. If we were not in this situation I would be admiring with surprise how her eyes were a different color. One green, almost blue and the other one violet.

If we were not in that situation I could gave move instead of being nailed to the floor.

"Oh" Were my lips the ones that had moved? I think so, because I was sure that my brothers were paralyzed behind me, watching as more blood came out of the nose of the girl that was looking at me right now.

It was the only door in the school that could have been open in this way.

It was the only damn door that could be opened in this way.

Do I really had such a bad luck?

The pained look in her eyes told me so.

"Shit"

* * *

**(Lua P.O.V)**

* * *

"Oh, shit. Oh shit!"

No need to have my eyes on Seth to know that he was the one who was screaming, but the reality was that I did had them on him. Moreover, his were connected with mine, and I could see the panic in them. I didn't break eye contact until he knelt beside me- I didn't even know how he got there so quickly.

His hands were outstretched to me but he wasn't touching me, as if he was looking for a way to move me without touching me.

I frowned.

I could walk ... I think.

"Oh my God, are you okay? Oh god, it's obvious that you are not!" A sound much like a growl came from the back of his throat, apparently from the bottom of it. "I'm so so-oh my god" It was almost like he couldn't speak, and apparently I was right because he couldn't finish one sentence without saying 'oh my god', I supposed it was the first time he had left a woman in the floor while she was bleeding.

"We have to take her to the infirmary" There were more voices around, but I flatly refused to look up. I kept my hands in my face, now more on the nose than elsewhere, when I felt I was being lifted from the ground firmly but gently. I barely in looked up to meet Seth, with a look that marked his state of panic.

I looked over his should- inside the lounge were the two boys who had pulled him earlier in the day, and there was a third one that I had not seen in the day. He looked at me with his mouth in surprise- how was curious, maybe it was a mirror? Because I was sure that was the same expression that I had right now.

But I couldn't think any more about the topic. Why? Because everyone had returned from lunch-everyone was looking at us. All people, all students, even some teachers were watching us like we were some kind of street performance, like we were the most interesting thing in the world.

I blushed. And I hid my face in the first place I found: Seth's chest, knowing he was too busy panicking to pay attention to my actions. By the time I realized he was running toward the infirmary at a speed quite supernatural.

I thanked him. I really did.

"MRS. B!" Didn't know how he opened the door with his feet, but he did it quite well, and when the door was just open enough he entered with me in his arms. The scream left me stunned for a few seconds, and removed when the Mrs. Banner came from another room with a cup of coffee in hand, obviously frightened by the Seth's voice.

I think it was a bit exaggerated from her to drop the cup on the floor but I'm relieved when I saw that there was nothing inside. Her mouth opened an inch while looking at me and Seth's shirt, which was stained with blood- my blood, for a couple of seconds before reacting.

"Leave her on the bed!" She jerked her gaze to a hospital bed behind a curtain that was run before running into to one of the furniture, apparently looking for everything she needed. Clearwater hurriedly towards the table, leaving me very carefully, almost as if he was afraid I might break like a piece of glass at the slightest touch.

Normally, I would have be angry, I would have said something, but his expression was ... was in so much pain that I didn't have the heart to tell him something. It was as if all that I felt had been twice as strong with him, and there was also a hint of guilt in his eyes. I wanted to say that it was not his fault, I wanted to comfort him, wanted to say that everything was fine.

Where all of this came from? I had no idea, and I knew I was not going to like the answer so I just didn't keep looking for one.

"What happened?" Mrs. Banner came with a few things in her hands, and leaves them in the metal table that was next to the bed as she pulled latex gloves in her hads.

"A door, a stupid door" growled softly.

"Don't worry sweetheart, not the first time this has happened" She turned to me, putting her hands on my head as she carefully drew it back, putting some sort of cloth over my nose "Your forehead is hurt too, must have been a impact strong enough "She sighed and turned to see Seth, I could see from the corner of the eye how his face was decomposed into something I didn't recognize. She sighed and walked out, and then came back with a paper in her hands "Mr. Clearwater, since you brought her I guess you have class with her right now. Would you be so kind to send this note to her teacher ? I fear that Miss Okami will need to be excused from classes for the rest of the day "

I growled. Great. Just what I needed. How am I supposed to give face to my dad if I couldn't go to teach today? I just hopped that Elliot-... Elliot...

"Elliot!" I closed my eyes. When he saw me it was not going to be nice at all.

"Yes, I agree with your reaction, I don't think that Mr. Elliot will be very happy to see you in this state"

Miss Banner had witnessed outbursts that my overprotective brother had before. We both knew it was something no one wanted to see and it was something extremely annoying.

I closed my eyes and sighed. This day was going to be very long.

"Then Mr. Clearwater, you'd better head to class"

Even with my eyes closed I could feel his eyes on me, even with my eyes closed I knew that type of expression he had- I could almost imagine him like this morning, opening and closing his mouth while looking what to say. But didn't hear any sound from him and somehow or another that made me anxious. But I still didn't open my eyes.

"... Yes, ma'am" and I heard the door close.

There was silence for a moment, maybe a minute or two, and then I could feel Mrs. B eyes on me.

"So ..." She started slowly "You already explained to your brother about your relationship with the boy or I have to be prepared for a nuclear explosion?"

"Does I look like I have some kind of relationship with him, Mrs. B?" I muttered under my breath.

"The truth is that you do look like it" She laughed a little, and I opened a little the left eye, looking as she was lying with her arms folded across her chest, "Okay, I'll shut up" She raised the palms while walking outside curtain, closing it after her.

I growl again, but sighed after.

Yes, the worst day of my life.

"LUA!"

And I confirm it when my brother's voice came out of nowhere, with the same volume of voice that Seth had. I could hear Miss B saying something like "It was about time" and I cursed her intelligence.

I just wanted the day to end.

* * *

"Just let me get my hands enzymes that bastard" For the fifth time since we left school, Elliot was muttering things like that. At least this time he wasn't making a specific threat, which had to be some kind of improvement. But he was still frowning, and seemed genuinely upset.

I sighed. No matter what I said, this was not going to end well. I only hoped that tomorrow when I returned to school, Seth would disappear again, maybe Elliot would have time to think better that way.

"Can I walk?" I leaned a little to see his face- he was carrying me on his back

"Mrs. B said you could have anemia, you lost a lot of blood"

"That's a no?" I winced and watched as he nodded.

"Exactly"

"It's not going to happen anything by just walking a few feet" Remember when I said that my brother had become my mother? Well, it was worse than any over protective mother, believe me. I can still remember once when I was seven, it was a weekday so Dad was not in the house, I went hungry and Elliot was asleep so instead of waking him up I decided to cut a slice of bread, but when I did I slipped the knife and cut my finger. With telling you that I ended at hospital without shoes and a sweater four sizes bigger than my body, I think you can imagine what happened after.

"I don't want to take the risk, thank you very much" He finished the stairs and went into my room, leaving me on the bed "you in pain? Dizzy?" He bent down, looking at my face closely and nearer the tips of his fingers, but not touching the skin because he knew it was going to hurt.

"I'm fine, just tired" Dodging his hand when I bent down to take off the platforms, leaving then bedsides the bed. When I got back I sighed as I sat cross-legged "You didn't have to bring me out of school, I could have been in the infirmary with Miss B until the classes ended"

"And let that bastard got to be near you again? No thanks" He frowned.

"How many times I have to say it was not his fault? He had no idea I was standing outside the door, and I was too distracted to look at the door at that moment" Imitated his action.

"I don't care" But from his tone, I knew that all I could do at the time was in vain. So I just put my head in the pillow. "I will make you something to eat, you skipped lunch right? It won't take long" His face relaxed and smiled a bit, stretching his hand to put it on my head "need anything?"

"I'm fine," I grumbled, I didn't like feeling weak, less being unless.

"Stubborn" He laughed just before walking out the door, but I stopped him before he went completely outside.

"You'll call Dad, Aniki?" I didn't look at him because I knew that I wouldn't like the expression in his face.

"Want me to call him?"

"No." And I was completely honest saying that, absolutely honest.

"I'll take your class and mine, you are not able to teach anything in that state" He walked out before I could say anything against his words, he knew me too well to give me time to. The last thing I wanted was bothering Elliot with this sort of thing, he didn't deserve that, he doesn't deserve to have to take care of me but he said it was necessary.

He deserved to be free, but I was sure I was the one that chained him, and the worst part of it was that it was not my intention. Never has been, is not, and never will be.

But as always, it was in my nature to be a nuisance. That surprised me? It was something I already knew, was something that I was familiar with. But still ... it hurt.

I was quite surprised when my phone started vibrating, pulling me from my thoughts. I pulled it out of my pocket and watch the screen: Unknown number. It was even stranger, almost nobody had my number, would be a student? That was unlikely.

"Hello?" I put it against my ear, turning completely on my back.

"Lua?"

Form the other side of the line I recognized a man's voice. It was quite deep, but even with that I could recognize it almost completely, almost immediately. Now I remembered I had seen a very similar guy at school- The one that was inside the room when Clearwater took me to the infirmary. I would be quite amazed if it really was him. I looked at the desk at the back of the room, looking at the many pictures I had on it, most of my childhood. I stopped at one, where two other children were with me.

"... Jake?"


	3. Chapter 3

This - Normal text.

_This - Thoughts._

* * *

"The who fears suffering is already suffering the fear." Chinese proverb

* * *

_"Yep, the only one" He sounded nervous, and I could tell he was trying to maintain something inside him. I could hear a couple of sounds in the background but couldn't identify any of them._

_"... Can I help you with something?"_

_"I just wanted to see how you were, you know, because of what happened this afternoon"_

_"How did you know about that?" He muttered something under his breath. I felt I was not going to like the answer to my question_

_"The whole school knows about it" I almost had a heart attack with his words "But Seth was the one who told me first" That got my attention._

_"Cleaerwater?"_

_"He is very nice guy, you know?" His tone quickly changed, and that seemed unusual enough to make me suspect that something was "a good friend, and he is strong"_

_"Yeah, I noticed when he crashed the door in my face" I could almost hear how he grimaced._

_"You know he didn't do it purposely, right? Tell me that you know that"_

_"I'm not stupid, I know that" I muttered under my breath, I felt like a stubborn child who is forced to accept something that they don't like. I knew it was not intentional, but he didn't have to repeat it to me._

_"Good" He sighed with relief and that made me even more suspicious "Just ... talk to the him, okay?, Tell him you know that, he is mortified because he thinks you really hate him"_

_"You haven't told him? About me and that stupid complex? You know that I can't hate anyone" That there was strange, if he was so concerned about my feelings why Jake hadn't told him? It was a joke, that was the only answer._

_"I don't want to say anything about you" sigh "I don't want to ... I mean, it wouldn't be... fair"_

_"Fair?"_

_"Forget it, don't pay me much attention. Just talk to him, please? I'm asking this as a favor between two people who have known each other for a long long time"_

_"You haven't spoken to me for years and now out of nowhere you call me to talk about a boy?" I raised an eyebrow and I could hear him chuckle from the other side of the line. "That is quite contradictory to what you told me when we were kids"_

_"At that time I didn't thought it would be someone like Seth. he's a good boy"_

_"I can't understand what you are trying to tell me"_

_"No need to do it now, soon you'll understand, believe me" His voice was soft now "You will go tomorrow?"_

_"I will not stop going for just a little bump" I made a grin._

_"Well," I could hear him smile "See you tomorrow, Lu-Lu"_

* * *

"Is this really necessary?

"Yes" Elliot replied vaguely, still watching every corner of the parking lot in search of the face of Seth Clearwater, who fortunately hadn't shown up to this point in the morning. I sighed as I leaned over the seat.

We were in the car for half an hour, and Elliot didn't let me down saying something like 'I don't want you to find him somewhere in school', so that's why here I was: inside the Blue Aveo, listening to Likin Park while trying to think about something else. But it was impossible. My brother could be really stressful- he was being stressful right now, and I really don't think I could take much more without running out of the car.

I sighed again, didn' understand the point of this kind of thing.

"The bell is about to ring" I turn to see him "Maybe he is not coming today"

"I'll walk you to the classroom" I rolled my eyes, but he had already turned off the car and was coming out of it. I sighed again as I took my things and opened my door, being greeted by the cold wind in the morning before closing it behind me. I looked at my feet and the floor that was completely wet, witness to the heavy rain that had fallen the day before, but yet here I was, dressed in light clothing because even when it was weird, I liked the cold wind.

I closed my eyes as I lifted my head to one side, preparing myself for what was about to come over me- All I asked was that nobody started with unnecessary comments about the accident yesterday, just as the evidence was covered with makeup so my face was free of those brands that stood out. I could hear Elliot taking the rest of his things from the car while I opened my eyes.

And I found not one, but two pairs of dark eyes looking at me.

Two pairs of eyes that I know, two pairs of eyes that were almost identical.

Both Jacob and Seth were standing across the parking lot against some type of truck, staring at me. My gaze landed a couple of seconds with the familiar eyes of Jacob, making me feel like a kid again, and then my eyes met Seth's, staying glued to them, reading everything they had in their depth.

Happiness.

That was the first thing I saw, and then guilt. That brought me back to reality and I broke eye contact to turn to see Elliot. He hadn't realized them yet and was fighting with a couple of books.

I looked towards the two again, Jacob was saying something to Seth while he was watching, apparently, my brother.

After that both looked at me again, this time only for a few seconds, and then they disappeared from my sight.

It was almost like a signal: I turned towards Elliot to see that he was smiling triumphantly as he looked at his completely closed bag with the books he was fighting inside. I sighed with relief.

"Ready?" He stood up, tucking the bag in his shoulder.

"Yes"

Honestly? I was not.

And by the time we arrived at the hall I couldn't do anything but be grateful that Seth was not in my room today in the morning. Elliot came in just to inspect everything before leaving, and I didn't want to imagine what would have happened if the guy had been inside.

Actually I don't have classed with him today, or so I thought, it had been so long since the last time he had been in classes that I don't really remember.

I decided to mentally slap myself.

Someone care to tell me why in god's name I was thinking about this? It made no sense! I was going crazy! The impact in my head from the door of yesterday must have really affected, I was almost completely sure about that now.

"Are you all right, Miss Okami?" I left my thoughts to meet Mrs. Tremble, who was looking at me with a worried face. The history teacher was always a nice person, one of the few teachers who didn't make unnecessary comments to embarrass their students.

You could say she was my favorite teacher.

"Yes, ma'am" She looked at me with doubt before smiling slightly and re-arrange the books for her class. I could hear the whispers behind me, nothing out of the ordinary; I really should say that I was relieved that there was no addition to them because of what had happened yesterday.  
I sighed and closed my eyes for a minute, leaning over the table.

I wanted my glasses- I needed them, I don't have a extra pair of sunglasses like the contact ones, so I had to wait until I could go to Port Angels to buy them again. Until then, I have to be patient ... very patient and careful.

Too much to relax outside of class.

But that didn't make me pay more attention to class, or to really set in what was happening around me at the time. Didn't even know what I was thinking, it was as like my mind had a collage of different images, not knowing what it was about each. There were many things, many memories, many voices, but none of them made sense.

But there was one particular image that for some reason was quite clear, as clear as crystal.

Seth's Clearwater face.

Yes, it almost caused me to crash my forehead against the wood of the table for thinking that, for even admit it so easily.

Although, when you consider that I spent all fucking night repeating again and again the look that he had on his face when he saw me bleeding on the floor of the corridor. Don't know how I sleep, I don't even know how I could even stop thinking about it in the morning! I was really going crazy! And it was all started because Jacob's call.

How he got my number anyway? I was sure that the last time we had seen each other I didn't had a phone like now, and it was highly unlikely that Elliot gave it to him. And even if he had had the number from the beginning, what was the point in calling me just now after so long? And the strangest thing was his insistence in the topic of Clearwater.

And there I go again.

Every time I try to forget them, I end up thinking about them even more than before.

Today, was definitely, no my day.

* * *

I had unconsciously been hiding all morning in the girl's bathroom, even send Elliot a message saying that if I he wanted he could risk a kick in the butt by most of the female population going inside, just if he wanted, but in the end he didn't do it so I just stood listening to music while working in a couple of things to kill time while the first break passed.

And when I finish, I practically ran to the biology room, spending it in the same way that it happens in the morning class: Zone out, not really knowing what I was thinking, dazed by all that was in my thoughts, fighting with Clearwater's worried eyes that appeared in my memory.

When I came out of that class, I was almost totally exhausted by the way I used my brain, reason why I was upset, and in top of that I almost could hear with headphones on how my own stomach growled, demanding food. Didn't have the heart to ignore his request, so without hesitation I went to the cafeteria without changing my books, knowing that if I did then I would find a very long queue.

It could also grab Elliot's lunch. Yeah, that was a good plan.

Or at least it was a good plan until a figure forty centimeters bigger than me crossed my path.

I growled through clenched teeth when I found a black shirt in front of my eyes, and sighed as I lifted my head to see the eyes of the person in front of me. A stupid feeling of Deja vu swept over me with a touch of shock, but my mouth formed a grin when I saw the face of Jacob Black.

"Is nice to see you too" He said sarcastically when he noticed my face.

"You should let people walk down the aisle, is a free right" I try to avoid him but he quickly stepped around to face me again.

"What type of greeting is that?" I took a deep breath before raising my head again.

"Hello"

"Much better," He grinned and I had to contain a growl louder than all that had come before, Elliot I could practically hear Elliot saying 'Do not snarl at people, and if you can't help yourself keep your growls for closed-mouth ' in my head.

"And goodbye" I muttered, avoiding him, but he got in my way again. "You have something to tell me, Jacob?" I watched with narrowed eyes. My stomach was starting to growl even more and was starting to bother me, pretty much, and that would not be nice to anyone present.

"What makes you think I have something to tell you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You are holding me against my will in the middle of a hallway"

"Oh, that," He grimaced "I was wondering if you wanted to sit with me and my friends at lunch"

"No thanks, I have to sit with somebody else" I started walking when he was distracted enough to stand in my way again.

"Elliot" When I realized it, he was walking besides me.

"Yes, my brother"

"I thought he was going to study in England or something"

"Things happened" I muttered under my breath. And with two long steps he stood in front of me, looking at me with a frown.

"Why you're treating me like this?" He demanded "Before we were almost family"

"If you haven't noticed, when you decided to ignore me that was evaporative in the air. I couldn't even meet you at school until yesterday; you know how long It took me to even see your face? And what didn't help was that when I hear from you, it turns out that they said you been in a gang and started with steroids " It was true, and at the time had been so upset that I had not even bothered to look for him for confirmation.

He rolled his eyes, but I knew him too well to ignore the look of guilt that had been in his eyes for a second.

"Please, don't tell me you thought that all those rumors were truth" The two of us stared at each other, challenging with our eyes. But he quickly looked over his shoulder, as if he had remembered something, and then looked at me again, "We don't have time for this"

"Ah?" I didn't understand, but he stood behind me and before I could do anything he lift me up- He lift me up by my elbows, like a child, and kept me lifted while walking down the hall " EH! " I shake my legs with fear of falling, but I was so well supported that it seemed impossible. I notice how his hands were warm, like he had a high fever, but at this time I was too busy thinking why I was been kidnapped to pay attention to that details "Release me!"

"We have to hurry; I don't want to run into your brother"

"I knew you were avoiding him" I stared at him, feeling quite surprised because of the adrenaline running through my body when I got up from the ground in that way. But he just look straight ahead, like he was ignoring me, but then again, I knew him too well to know that by his expression that he was holding his laughter at this moment.

I was trying to move my arms to get freedom, but even with that move he didn't let me go, and I refused to use my full strength, I could hurt Jacob and was the last thing I wanted to do, well, I was still keeping in mind that now he resembled a rock and maybe he wouldn't been really hurt ... but by the time I realized we were in the cafeteria.

"Let go!" I try again, getting nervous when I noticed the looks that we began to call.

"Relax Lu-lu"

"Don't tell me to relax Jacob Black, this is called kidnapping!" I looked at him like he was crazy- and that was exactly what I thought about him at this time, giving me such an impression that I didn't even refute him the nickname he used for me when I was little.

"Look at it the way you prefer" I opened my mouth again, but he stopped and pushed something that was in front of us with the foot, leaving me sitting in what appeared to be a chair. I stared at him open-mouthed as he sat in the chair next to me, completely still for a moment.

"Eh! He really brought her!"

"Whoa! She looks like a doll"

That's when I realized I had a good four pairs of eyes looking at me as if I were the most interesting thing in the world, which almost immediately made my hair stand on. I recognized those persons as the ones that were part of Sam Uley's band, the group of boys that started to use steroids from nowhere.

And then, next to me, Seth Clearwater was smiling with a goofy smile.

"Of course I did, I said I would" not know exactly when he began, but Jacob had his mouth full of food , and I was surprised how well he could talk with all that inside it "Lua, these are Quil Ateara, Embry Call and Paul Lahote "Everyone smiled when his names was called " I think you already know Seth. "

"Of course she knows him, is not easy to forget the person who hit you in the face with a door" The one that I assumed was Paul laughed while Embry and Quil followed him, but they fell silent when both Jacob and Seth looked at them with a I look that meant more than it seemed.

"Many thanks Paul" I looked at Seth by the corner of my eye- he looked pretty annoyed. He noticed my gaze and smiled at me.

Two more beats more than usual.

So I sighed.

"Can I go now?"

"Ah, you're still bad talking to strangers, right?" I squinted as I looked at Jake. He had a smile on his face, surprisingly not mocking. He drag the tray with one hand, leaving it in front of me, which had a full lunch intact. That considering the way they had been eating was quite impressive.

"... Are you trying to blackmail me?"

"Yep"

"Moron" And despite my words, I started eating. Hey, don't get me wrong, I needed energy to run after this, that's all ... seriously ...

"You're pretty easy to please" When I turned to see Embry, he was looking at Seth while he was talking to me, but after a few seconds his eyes were fixed on me as he smiled a little more broadly, "You know Lua? This kid has not stopped talking about you all day yesterday, and this morning too, you had no idea of how much consciousness he have since he left you alone in the infirmary "

"Embry" Besides me, Seth let out something from the back of his throat that was pretty much like a growl. It was not the first time I listened to it that but it was the first time I really paid attention to it, enough to notice that if that was not an animal snarl, it was quite similar to one.

The difference between his grunts and mine was great, but somehow, it was a little similar.

"It was not his fault" And then, there I was, watching the two of them like I talking about the weather "Or you did purposely?"

"Wha-No!" His face passed from surprised to horrified, as if it were impossible to even assimilate my words.  
"I know that" His face turned in surprise for a second "That's why I never blame you" For an instant, all around us froze for a moment, I couldn't hear anything, for that moment I couldn't help but looking at Seth's eyes like they were some kind of magnet.

"Lua!"

My first instinct was not to turn around, was to stare at the void that was in front of me because I knew from who the voice came from, but my brain wouldn't accept. Then for some reason I turned to see Jacob, and he was frowning looking at something or someonethat was behind me.  
A second before I turned, he looked at me, warning me something with the eyes.

"... Elliot ..." And when I turned, the first thing I saw was the figure of my brother walking through the cafeteria with enough speed to call it running and with a very angry face. When he arrived, he stood next to my chair and the first person he looked at was Jake.

"I leave her alone for a moment and you take advantage of that? Thought you had more class than that Black, but I see I'm wrong" I was almost literally with an open mouth. What was all that about? It was the first time in my life I see Elliot talk that way to someone "Come one Lua" He reached out a hand to grab mine, pulling me a little until I was lifted from the chair.

"You have no right to take her like this" Jacob got up from his post. Elliot was huge, and Jacob were the same size as him- was pretty scary to see both of them looking like they wanted to kill each other.

"She's _mine_ Black" Elliot let out of his throat something very close to a growl "Don't try to cheat again, this time you are very wrong if you think I will allow it. And you, Clearwater " He look at Seth, and was when I noticed he was also in his feet " Stay away from her" And he dragged me.

The relationship between my brother and Jake was never the best, even when we were children I could remember how they avoided each other. When Bella left Forks permanently, and never came back, Jacob stopped to visit me, and that was when I was certain that all my friends had abandoned me.

Elliot blame him of my sadness, and at that time I didn't have the consciousness to know the weight of his words.

Today, unlike years ago, I was totally clear, but even knowing that it didn't entered my head what he had say seconds before.

"Elliot?"

He had heard me, but hadn't turned to me, just continued walking down the aisle without even paying attention to the people that was virtually kicking out of the way while. His grip on my wrist was strong, too strong to be comfortable. It has begun to hurt a little.  
"Aniki!" I put my feet to the floor strong enough to make him stop. He turned to me with a frown, but I cast my eyes to my wrist and apparently he started to become aware of his strength, because he lightened his grip.

"Sorry, d-didn't mean to hurt you" I looked back as he took withhis two hands my wrist, thumb moving gently over my skins "I get carried away for a moment"

"It was not your intention," I shook my head "But I don't understand why you were so angry, I thought you overcome your resentment towards Jacob years ago"

"Not as easy Lu" He muttered, frowning again as he released my hand "is something that is not easy to do ..." He was silent after that, and I did nothing to say something to him. I hated this type of situation. Moments when my brother had something bothering him, something that he didn't share, and I couldn't do more than stay still in front of him. What I could tell him? What I could tell him if every time I try to do so he smiled and tell me that is nothing? It was always the same-always cared less for his problems, as if they were not even problems.

I hate myself because of that.

I don't think being me is something necessarily. My nature and my personality for some reason were quite different. My nature was to prevent to be a nuisance to others, but my actions were those of someone who does not want something to do with the rest of the humidity.

As I am now it was completely well, that was my absolute truth.

So every night, the other me was sad. She I cried because I'm hiding her, begging me to let her out, but couldn't do that. Let her out was direct synonymous to problems, that was direct synonymous to problems.

And that, dear friends, was something that I would not allow.

I hated it.

"You have the next few hours free, right?" And there was, changing the subject at once.

"Yes," I sighed.

"Why don't you buy hot chocolate? I have two classes left" He smiled a little, taking the car keys from his pocket and giving them to me "But, be careful if you go to Forks, okay? I don't want some cops to call me saying that you are in the commissary for speeding up"

"Very funny," I smiled a little.

"Take care of yourself " He kissed my face forehead suspiciously before getting back and start to walk to the aisle.

Sometimes I was afraid of Elliot mood's, for a moment he could be the happiest person in the world and the next second he could be a serial murderer with a kind of emotional problem that made him hate everyone. I had learned to live with that, but there were times I just couldn't help but get impress.

I sighed as I walked to my locker, all I needed to do at school today was to leave my books, that was all I needed, and after that I only had to come back to get my brother to go to Port Angeles to teach at the dojo. (If he let me teach anything today)

It was simple; it was part of my routine.

But I don't know why- and I honestly do not know why, fate had something against me this week, so she just decided to make my life impossible.

A group of blondes that were against their lockers were laughing, probably skipping classes, but when they saw they became quiet, speaking in low tones among themselves. Only saw them from the corner of my eye at first, so it was not anything out of the ordinary, but when I turned to walk to the parking lot ...They didn't say anything, they were not even close to me, but the way they looked at me... god ... was the same way they have looked at me before, the same way everybody looked at me at that time, and it was ... it was horrible.

I couldn't take much more.

So I ran. And I kept running even when I crossed the parking gates, feeling the car keys that were in my pocket very heavy. I closed my eyes tight when I slowed down, knowing that no one else was around at the time. Breathe hard, trying to ward off bad memories from my head- trying to ward off the cries of my ears, trying to ward off the red covering my eyes, trying to banish the very memory of that day.

"Lua!?"

And then it was clear.

When I opened my eyes, Seth was in front of me, very close, looking at me with the same concern he had when I get to the infirmary. I felt the strong need to feel his arms around me like that again, and once I realized that I couldn't do more than agree with my own feeling.

I remembered the warmth of his skin, and for some reason I missed it close to mine.

Hey, I had accepted that I was going crazy, so I'm just being honest.

"Are you okay? Something happened?" His voice and his movements showed how anxious he was to hear my answer. For a moment I stood, staring without speaking. Bad idea, because it seemed that he was on the verge of a panic attack.

"What are you doing here? _Yeah, very smart Okami_" I kicked myself in my mind. He didn't seem to notice how stupid my words were, because he immediately relaxed as he sighed with relief. Every moment I understand less the way he is thinking.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

"I do not think it's a good idea," I shook my head slightly, pressing the keys in my pocket with one hand. I wanted to get away from school, the faster the better.

"I ... I don't think your boyfriend will be angry if I talk to you for a moment" His face became hard for a moment, but a second later became sad, and the sudden change of feeling was truly shocked at.

But not enough to avoid me from falling into what he said.

"... Boyfriend?" The very word out of my mouth sounded stupidly useless, who would refer? To my knowledge, there was no poor wretch who I can call it that way. Maybe Clearwater was completely crazy? That was a choice that by each passing second was getting a solid fact.

"Yes" sniffed "The guy with blond hair that came with you this morning, who brought you out of the cafeteria?"

I process the information very slowly in my brain, trying to figure out who the hell he meant.

It took me a second.

"You mean leading the Blue Aveo? That one with the blond hair? Are you sure?" He nodded slowly, and all made even less sense to me.

I blinked a few times quite followed "But Elliot is my older brother"

And there was silence between the two.

Try to decipher the expression of the person in front of me but it was really impossible. His expression was neutral, completely static, and I even doubt that he was breathed-I mean, he was not even blinking. I gave him a moment, but when a few long seconds passed I began to worry and I wondered if something really happened. I was about to say something, but then he sat on the floor to fast to even see the movement.

"A-Are you okay?" I spread my hands but I didn't let them near him. Look to one side, what I was supposed to do now? Never read about what to do when someone came in shock! And why there was no one around at the moment!?

And then Seth started laughing.

Yes, he started laughing, laughing as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. He had a hand in his face, as if to stop but couldn't. His laugh rumbled across the parking lot and in my ears because of how strong it was. He breathes heavily and I could see his lips moving- he was probably trying to say something but the laugh just didn't let him.

I stood there, standing like a fool, looking as if he had gone mad, wondering if that was really what was happening.

That was supposed to do in a situation as unlikely as this?

"... Are you okay?" Then I opt for the easiest and simple, besides being the first thing that crossed my mind.

"Yeah, yeah" He kept laughing, but this time with a little less force and removed his hand from his face to see mine "Sorry if I scare you, I'm too happy to contain it" His smile and his words for a moment were so sincere that my wall came down for a minute, enough to stare at him with genuine curiosity.

The image I had in my mind of Seth Clearwater was a happy boy who was always around people, then the image change to someone who uses steroids and have older teens surrounded him, but what the two images had in common was the big smile he always had on his face.

It was the same smile I could see now, but seemed more ... brilliant.

How a person could change so quickly?

"You're weird, really weird," The words escaped from my mouth before I could even think about it. He stared at me with a smile, and before I could stop myself my lips curled into a tiny smile, and his grin turned into a very big one.

"I know"


	4. Chapter 4

This - Normal text.

_This - Thoughts._

* * *

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." – Ed Sheeran

* * *

"Thank you very much, please come back soon " The saleswoman looked at me with a smile as I grabbed the board tray with two glasses of hot chocolate at the bar after putting the change in my pocket.

I turned around when I had the tray in hand and sighed as I put the other hand in the pocket of my sweater while looking at the glass that was acting as a wall at the coffee. You could see the wet street and just a couple of people walking by it, occasionally a car passing although it was unlikely at this hour.

Forks was bigger than La Push, obviously, but I felt like it was much more lonely. I wonder why. I pushed the door with one of my shoulders, feeling the cold hit my cheek gently. I sighed as I was completely out and closed my eyes for a second.

Damn it, even with my eyes closed the image of Seth running into the woods without apparent reason came to mind. Why he had done that anyway? One minute he was there, sitting on the floor smiling at me and then he was running into the woods. I had heard a howl and doubted that was the reason he went to the forest-I mean, if it was a wolf, wasn't it dangerous?

The more I thought about it the more my brain got tired. I sigh again. All of this- thinking about him, was not going to be any good for my mental sanity.

"Excuse me miss, are you okay?" The voice, which was very deep, took me by surprise. I looked up, meeting at first a police outfit and when I finished to looking up at the face of the man who spoke to me, I was kind of... well... speechless. Oh ... this was ... Unexpected.

"... Uncle Charlie?"

He looked confused for a moment, blinking several times, until after a couple of seconds his eyes widened in surprise.

"Lua? Luka Okami?" I winced, was it really necessary to use my first full name? Even the teachers didn't say it, I doubted they remembered or even if they knew about it. But despite my thoughts I nodded slowly with a small smile, Uncle Charlie's face brought me so many memories that it was impossible not to smile, no matter how small the smile was "Wao, it has been ... a while since the last time I saw you" He nodded at his words, smiling a little. he was just as I remembered, a man of only few actions "It's been a very long time"

"A very long time"

"How have you been? The last time I saw you, you were the size of my legs" I could see as she bit his cheek from inside the mouth and I made a face, I knew he wanted to add something like 'you have not changed much in that aspect though ... ' but I decided to ignore that fact after a second.

"Everything has been fine" I nodded slowly, tilting my face afterwards.

"That's good. How are your brother and your father? I'm Sure Elliot has turned into a fine man"

"My brother is fine, now at school, I left early" He nodded in understanding but then frowned. Uh-Uh, bad sign.

"And how did you get he-"

"My dad opened a Dojo in Port Angels" I said quickly before he could finish his sentence about how I had managed to come here when it was illegal to drive at my age. Yes, not the best topic to discuss with a cop "He is living there for convenience, we teach at there all weekdays after school" His face relaxed, but only a little.

"You're living alone with your brother? That doesn't seem very comfortable for the two of you"

"We work it out somehow" I shrugged, "I guess to this point everything is based on a rutine"

"You have always been smarts kids" A small smile reappeared on his face while I sighed with relief "You all have always been so. Even Bella! is not like I can't take care of myself, but she always acts like-

"What?" My voice came out shaky, and he looked at me with some concern mixed with surprise. I swallow quickly, shaking my head to clear my mind "... Bella? Like my cousin Bella? That Bella?"

"Yes" He nodded slowly, looking confused "She had been here since last year ... you didn't know? I though Jake already told you- I mean, you keep talking to him, right?"

"I think he forgot to mention that little detail" I murmured under my breath.

I stood still for a moment, reviewing the new information in my head. In the distance I could hear the voice of Charlie talking about something that I did not understood at this time, my mind was completely elsewhere-was going over small images of my childhood, or at least the moments that I shared with my cousin.

We were not real family, but my mother and hers had been great friends in the past, before mine passed away. When Aunt Renee got divorced and moved, she insisted that every time Bella came to Forks she came to my house to play with me. She had been my best friend, and she was my older sister. And then a picture of Jacob stood in the middle of my memories.

I pressed my free hand to form it into a fist- Perhaps he had not found an appropriate moment in the past year to come and say 'Hey Lua, remember the person you called cousin? Bella? Well, she's in Forks now, why don't you go to see her? Perhaps it wouldn't have been so hard!? Damn it!

"So what do you say?" In one of those lapses of consciousness in the middle of my anger, I could hear him say that and notice how he was looking at me for an answer.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something," I muttered under my breath. Uncle Charlie didn't deserve to be the target of my anger when some jerk who was into steroids was the one that deserved it "What were you saying?"

"If you want to go visit her, she is grounded for so she will be there at home at four... are you sure you're okay?" I almost growled when he leaned a little to look better at me, but I stopped at the right time, thinking that he was doing it with no intention to offend.

"Yeah, yeah, the news just took me... by surprise, that's all" I ler out the groan that refused to disappear, though it sounded more like I was coughing. Well, while he has not understood why I did that it was fine "Maybe I'll go visit ..."

"Nice" He smirked "Maybe you can bring Jake with you, Bella refuses to be a part from her ... _boyfriend_ and I really think she should start seeing other people"

"I will do my best" I smiled weakly and he nodded, apparently satisfied. Whatever it was, Bella had done something really big for Charlie to act that way with the theme of 'boyfriend'.

"Damn, look at the time, I guess that coffee will have to wait" He looked at his watch and sighed with regret, shaking his head from side to side, looking really disappointed.

"I guess to offer you hot chocolate will do nothing" I stretched a little the tray at him, watching as his expression went from one of sorrow to one belonging to a person who fought against something that was inside of him.

"... Don't want your kind offer be in vain," he murmured, disengaging the glass from it's place while I laughed at how predictable the man standing in front of me could be "I have to fly to the station, take care, I guess you already have the number of the house, Bella should be already there "  
"I will call soon ..." I nodded slowly and smiled, walking a few steps toward the patrol car that was parked a few feet from where we were. "It was nice to see you again Uncle Charlie"

"I say the same, say hello to your brother and your dad for me" He waved a hand before entering the car and turn it on. I waved with my free hand until he was out of my sight, then I just stand there for a moment like I had nothing better to do.

And didn't really have something to do ... oh, who was I kidding?

I remove the keys from my pocket while crossing the street, where I had parked the car and I opened it, leaving the tray on the passenger seat as I closed the door and with the other hand pulled my phone out of the other pocket, looking at the screen as I punched the letters quickly.

_"Dad, Elliot and me can't teach today, something came up at last minute with the cart. Sorry, hope to go tomorrow, give further explanation when we get there.  
Luka "_

I took some deep breaths when I send the first message, realizing that I had been holding my breath in my lungs. I sighed- I was hopeless when it came to making any contact with my father.  
At least the message I send Elliot was like a breath of fresh air.

I breathe deep, leaving the phone in my pocket while I lay my head in the back of my sit as I looked myself in the mirror. The eyes. The only detail that I was sure she wouldn't like in at all-I don't like them myself, I hate them, and I was not in school so ... I took from my bag the contact's box and looking carefully in the mirror I removed the contact lenses, feeling the immediate relief while I put the box back in the bag.

I smiled a little, somehow that made me feel much better.

And I turned on the car, pressing the accelerator without many seconds' thoughts because I knew that if I had them, I could get to regret at some point. Slide the car through the streets of Forks, knowing by memories the way that I had to go even if it had been many years since the last time I went to that place.

The streets were wet, so I had to go with the less speed. Surprisingly there was no disc on, and I neither had the headphones on, I was just there, seated, facing forward and nothing else.

I was starting to worry because they were more and more moments where I couldn't really find out what I was thinking. Again I was at that point where there were too many voices and too many memories in my head. I was surprised that I could stay focused on the road that almost nobody was passing at the time.

Sometimes, when I tried really hard to concentrate, I could look at the small parts of images that passed through my brain. But as each and every one of them came from the same day in my memory, the same accident, I didn't bother to come back to see them because I was sincere when I said that I didn't want to remember anything concerning that day, not now, not ever.

Thank goodness my cell tone rang with enough force, pulling me from my delirium. It didn't moved my eyes off the road until I had the phone completely out of my pocket.

When I saw the words 'unknown number' my first impression was that Jake was the one who was calling me, which made me frown greatly. I was ready to yell all I had in mind, so I pressed the green button, but I heard a yell from the other side of the line before I could even put the phone against my ear completely.

"Where are you!?" But the voice was not the one that I was expecting. At first I didn't recognize it, and I even considered the option of saying that it was a wrong number, but the panic in the voice of the person almost immediately told me who it was.

Move the phone a moment, blinking a few times before putting it close to my ear again.

"... Seth?"

"Oh, thank goodness" He sighed on relief, and my confusion grew even more, to the point where I had to stop at the curb in order to focus all my concentration on the call.

"How did you get my number?"

"Jake gave me-but that's not important now, where are you? Why you are not at La Push?" His tone sounded from one upset and one of panic, not knowing which one was stronger but I was sure that I didn't like to upset one.

"Not to sound harsh or anything like that, but that's not your problem" I squinted a bit "And how did you know that I'm not in La Push?"

"Of course it's my problem" now he seemed offended. I didn't ignore the fact that he didn't answer my question.

"Can you please tell me why it is?"

"Where are you, Lua?"

"You have no idea how much I hate that people changing the subject" I muttered under my breath.

"Where. Are. You?" I got the impression that the words had crawled from his throat, making it look like a growl. I held my breath for a moment when I notice I didn't want him to talk that way, because I knew he was upset. Why I cared as it was? I have no idea.

I recall the composter a couple of seconds later.

"It's. Not. Your. Problem" I muttered, trying to imitate the same tone before cutting the call and throwing the phone somewhere inside the car. I could almost immediately hear as someone was calling again, but I didn't return to pick it up, however, I moved on up to the house on the hill that seemed so familiar.

It was neglected and needed a paint job, but still maintained its charm and it was something that brought a lot of nostalgia. The grass had grown a little, but not enough to be considered careless. There was an orange truck parked in the parking lot, and I assumed it was Bella's because I knew that Uncle Charlie just used the patrol to move.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and put my feet on the floor, being careful-I usually had a good balance, but with the platforms on all was based on luck, and I certainly didn't want to tempt it. I looked at my phone- it was on the floor in front of the passenger seat, it had stopped ringing some minutes ago, so I stretch my arm and put it in my pocket, not a good idea to walk around without it.

My steps were slow, losing the little confidence I had gathered to come. She hadn't even told me that she was back, and if she had forgotten me? What if she couldn't give me an answer like Jake? Just thinking of that squeezed my heart as I smiled weakly, I was really desperate. Try to remind me that I had no right to be, I had no right to want someone to talk to, because I, myself, had cut ties with the people around me, but by the time I realized, I stood outside the door.

I stopped breathing for a second.

Now ... what? ... I was afraid to even touch the door, what should I do now? It was obvious that she was home, but now that I thought about it better I didn't have anything planned to say.

... Maybe I should turn around like nothing happened?

I turned my back to the door, feeling my cheeks warmed. I buried my head in my palms, sighing as I closed my eyes. I was a lost cause, as easy and simple as that.

"You're going to play or going to stay there all afternoon?"

The voice gave me a mini heart attack as I put my hands on my heart and let out a cry perhaps too girly for me as I turned around quickly to get face to face with a slender girl with brown hair and brown eyes looking at me with a touch of fun.

It took me about five seconds to remember those brown eyes. The factions of the person who was in front of me were of a teenager that was almost completely mature. If it were not for the eyes and the extreme paleness, I could have sworn it was someone else.

But I knew who she was.

"... Sorry?" I slowly remove my hands on my chest and down to my pants, watching the same fabric as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, feeling my cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

Now from all the moments all the shyness that I had buried is coming to light? Seriously?

And I think my face turned two shades of red when I felt a hand on my head- Bella was short, so I could imagine how I was compared to her, but at that time I didn't have much head to think about that.

"It seems that more than one person in this place has drastically change"

At any other time I would have rolled my eyes and replied something truly offensive, but I refrained from doing so given the situation that I was in. I lift my head, and she smiled at me, and at some moment I was smiling too.

I stepped forward, holding her by the waist, burying my face into the fabric of her shirt. I felt as she returned the gesture after a moment and I sighed with relief. A weight was lifted from my shoulders very quickly after I did.

"I missed you, and you were evil enough to not have told me you were in Forks" Murmur against the fabric of her shirt. Amazingly she managed to hear.

"I missed you too, but there were so many ... so many things to do that I just didn't find the time to find you" I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the pain in my chest, but embrace her a little more.

I let go of her, smiling, but later I realized the figure that was a few meters behind Bella so I froze in my place when I noticed his presence. His face was almost perfect, like it was carved in granite, and his skin seemed that, granite, almost white and firm.

Almost hazel eyes.

A different aura from the rest of the humanity.

I knew almost immediately that this man was not normal, which was not very hard to notice, and was extremely similar to a man who already knew.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen" Bella noticed where my gaze was going and smiled widely, stepping away from me as he approached, stretching his hand.

"Nice to meet you" There was something in his voice that didn't quite fit with the scene, but I decided not to pay attention to it as I shook his hand, feeling his kind almost icy.

"Lua Okami" I nodded slightly and he raised an eyebrow, looking at Bella for a moment. I understood the look as I sighed a moment, "Okay, Luka Okami, but I hate the name"

"You really are the same when it comes to your na,es" He smiled a little, looking at the two of us.

"I guess it's a bad habit" Bella shrugged and Edward chuckle.

"You are Doctor Cullen's family, right?" His eyes immediately turned to me, not looking at all surprised but I felt that he was demanding an explanation. I shrugged my shoulders a little "You look like him"

"I assure you there is much difference between my father and me," he laughed a little and I could not do more than nod rather slowly, "Well, I think I'll leave the two of you alone to catch up with each other, I'm sure you have much to talk about "He approached to Bella, kissing the top of her head before smiling brightly. She replied with a smile almost of equal size.

"See you soon"

"Absolutely" he left her and looked at me with a smile, nodding as a farewell "Lua" It almosr caused me laugh by the way he said it, coming from him it seemed so ... improper. For some reason I didn't understand, when he passed besides me he coughed a little, although it sounded like he has swallow a laugh. I raised an eyebrow, turning back to him, but the door was already closed when I did.

I stared at the door for a moment before I turned around to see Bella with my mouth a little open. I pointed the wood with the thumb of the left hand.

"From where did that dude came from?"

She smiled slyly, almost as if she had known from the beginning that I was going to ask that, but then she used a dirty technique that she knew I couldn't refuse even though I was trying to get an answer.

"You want chocolate ice cream?"

"Blackmail is wrong"

"That's a no?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Where is that stupid chocolate ice cream?"

Uncle Charlie at some point in the evening had come, not at all surprised by my presence, he had passed by the couch where Bella and I were sitting muttering something like a 'don't go to bed too late' before disappearing in the stairs, he never came down again.

I could have sworn that I could hear the snoring from where I was sitting.

I had pulled out from Bella all the possible information, but sometimes I feel guilty because the expression on her face when she me told about what had happened two months ago, of how Edward had left her, and how he came back, could break hearts.

I guess, to hear Jacob's role in what looked like a novel, I couldn't really blame him for not tellong me about Bella. Although it didn't remove the fact that I was still angry at him, and that I would yell the next time I see him.

In the end, we ate pasta as dinner, that was the first thing we found, and I claimed that i would not go to school the next day.

When I woke up, I don't know how but I was in the same bed as Bella, changed into night clothes that smelled and looked new. All around me was spinning because of the sleep that was in my brain, but step by step, I could sit on the bed while scratching my head.

We talked until very late, that I could remember, but also remember that we had been in the living room instead of Bella's room, so I didn't understand how we got there, or at least how _I_ got here. Didn't even understand why I had pajamas on. The simple picture of Bella carrying me at the stairs was ridiculous, so I immediately thought that it had been Charlie.

Look at the fabric of the pajama- the shirt was a huge, dark blue with a cookie monster's face, and I could tell I was wearing long trousers because my legs were quite warm indeed. I still didn't have an explanation for the cloths part, so I refrained to try to find one, protecting myself from jumping to wrong conclusions.

I looked to my right-Bella was asleep, her hair all tousled and her legs were tangled with the sheets. Yawn- it has been a long time since the last night I stayed up this late. I put my feet on the ground while looking for something to wear on my feet, it was a cold morning. But when I didn't find anything I just gave up and went down the kitchen barefoot. No one was there, so I assumed that uncle Charlie had already left for work.

My stomach was growling for the moment I touch the refrigerator.

I thought about making my breakfast, both Bella and mine, so I started searching with y eyes the ingredients. I moved a few things and in the end I decided I should start looking for other places because I couldn't see much future in the fridge. I closed the door quite lazy, almost falling sleep, and was starting to debate seriously between getting something to eat or go to sleep again.

I closed my eyes as I turned, hanging my head back before throwing it forward sharply, forcing myself to open my eyes, making it slowly and heavily.

Finding myself looking into a pair of brown eyes staring at me from across the yard and through the glass of the kitchen's window.

I stood still for a moment, not breaking eye contact with the eyes, as he raised his head slowly. I wondered you should be doing when you saw an animal as wild as a wolf in a backyard of a house, but I was completely sure that to be to walking over to the window to have a better look at the animal like I was doing at this time was not the best option.

My steps led me to touch the table that was glued to the window, without breaking eye contact with the animal. His coat had different shades of brown, and he was, at first sight, much larger than a normal wolf, not that I have seen one before, not that I remember at least. And I was quite sure that the eyes that I was looking at were human eyes.

I was seriously beginning to doubt that I was dreaming, because it seemed real.

"Are you hungry?" I turned a little to see Bella, who walked into the kitchen maybe worse than myself when it came to looking like new when you first wake up, she didn't even have her eyes open.

I looked out of the window again, but there was nothing.

I must have imagined? I was awake enough to know that probably hadn't been a dream, and it just hadn't felt like one. Was it a illusion?

"Lua?"

"Yes," I mumbled, turning back to her, smiling a little "Should we make pancakes?"

It seemed to me one that it was not the best topic to discuss at first hour in the morning- It didn't seem to discuss ever, actually. What could I say to my cousin? 'Hey, Bella? I think I saw a giant wolf in your backyard '? Yeah, as if that would do any good; the only thing it was going to do was to contribute to a heart attack, and I really had no desire or brain to provide first aid.

At least not before eating in the morning.

Although I regretted it when I was practically bathed in flour when the bag decided just to fall from the ledge where it was to my head. Definitely not my best moment.

"You were the one who brought me up when I fell asleep?" When I finished bathing and went down, Bella had cleaned everything and had breakfast ready, even when I have asked her to wait for e to do it since the disaster was kind of my fault. She seemed quite surprised by my question, so that I could practically see the fork sliding through her fingers. I looked at the fork and then at her, raising my eyebrows.

"... No" I was glad to know that she knew that lying would have no effect because Isabella Swan was an open book, almost literally "Edward left something here yesterday, so he came to pick it up and helped me carry you"

"He came at three in the morning ... because he forgot something" I nodded slowly and she imitated me "And the clothes?"

"His sister Alice has a serious... _problem_ with clothes" She chose her words very carefully "She remove your clothes and replaced them with new ones, she does not let you put the same thing twice, so when Edward told her that you were probably staying, she ... she kind of found clothes for you to change, she also brought clothes for today but I can't remember where I put them"

I was tempted to say something like "So she found new clothes for me in like... 5 hours without knowing my size?" But I decided to shut up.

I stared at her, hoping to find some sign that she was telling a joke. When I found none I began to worry about the type of person who gathered with Bella, and I was surprised to find that she seemed as concerned as me, she even seemed afraid and her mouth curved in rare grimaces, like she was remembering something unpleasant.

So I changed the subject.

"I am starting to make a plan to torture Jake when I go back to La Push, want to help?"


	5. Chapter 5

_This – thoughts, internal conversation._

* * *

"It might hurt to lose people, but maybe they just weren't supposed to stay" Unknown.

* * *

"Hello Lua" When I opened the door later in the morning I met Edward, perfectly presentable as ever and with a pleasant smile on his face. I smiled a little in return, not fully used to his presence, or even talking to him.

"Good morning," I stepped aside so he could pass.

"I didn't expect the two of you to be awake so early in the morning" He looked at me as I closed the door, and then he looked at the bag in my hand.

"I was just grabbing my stuff when my brother called, I didn't had the time to drop anything" I explained when I notice his action "Bella is talking to him in the kitchen right now"  
"I understand how he should be very worried about you"

"Nha, he is worried about his car" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I just ignored my own words "Right, thanks for helping me get on the bed yesterday, I'm sure I'm pretty heavy"

"Not at all, you're as light as a feather" He smiled politely "I also heard about your plan to torture Jacob when you get back" His face remained serious and his voice was solemn, as if he were about to promise me something "You need some help?"

"I think I can handle it by myself," I assured him nodding, equally solemn. Oh yes, I was perfectly capable of doing it "Oh, that's right. Can you please give my thanks to your sister for clothes? "I shrugged my shoulders a little, unconsciously tightening my grip on the bag.

Talking to a person first, by choice, was a luxury that I didn't allow me to have for a long time, so one way or another now it made me more or less nervous, trying to say the words as clearly as possible. He smiled a little, almost as if he was ... fascinated "I believe I can't accept something like" I handed him the bag, but he didn't even look at her.

"They were not to your liking?"

"N-No I meant. Yes, I liked them very much, but I can't really accept them just like that"

"If that is so, please do not worry about it, I insist" He shook his head, smiling again as he pushed my hand down gently "Alice bought them especially for you, she would be very offended if you didn't keep them, and she will feel sad when she knows that you returned them, without using them, when you liked them"

"Then please let me paid for them, they looked very expensive"

"Believe me, that's not necessary" He sort of grimace.

"You're not leaving many options here," I muttered, shrugging my shoulders, it was a bad habit I had developed for the times when I really don't know what to say and I begin to feel nervous. Just like now.

"Alice loves buying and designing clothes, when is related to this issue you don't have to worry about anything," He assured me "He says she wants to meet you, she really wants it, why don't you come to our house one day? I'm sure Alice will be happy to see you, like the rest of my family"

"That would be very nice ..." I smiled a little.

I had known Dr. Cullen just for something like a year. It was not in the best condition, and that certainly was not my best day, because he had to put back in its place one of my shoulders when I dislocated it during a bad training, I can still remember how he frowned when my brother explained how I got my shoulder like that, and I swear he had deepened his expression when he said that I was a teacher in my father's dojo.

I can still remember the speech he gave me before the lollipop, saying with a smile that "I had been very good" I had not said anything back.

Hey, I have a weakness for sweets, not my fault that the lollipop tasted so well.

Edward coughed heavily, although at this point it seemed more like a laugh, so I furrowed my brow slightly. What was so funny? Perhaps my expression was very strange? Although now that I thought about it, that was a very likely option.

"You're a good kid" I tilted my face, analyzing the words for a moment before realizing what he had said.

"Kid?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Kid" He nodded with a smile that bordered on the mocking. The guy had guts, I recognized that.

"What are you talking about?" Bella entered the room, smiling subtly with my phone in one hand. I got it "I explained everything to Elliot, he said there is no problem but that he will make you pay for making him walk to school when you have the car that is technically his"

"Didn't I tell you?" I looked at Edward with a sigh before Bella turning to Bella "The same threat as ever" I just didn't give it importance, moving my hand from side to side. She smirked but then frowned.

Uh-uh.

"Then, about your drivi-"

"But just look how late it is" I looked at the screen of my phone in mock surprise, making grimace of annoyance "Sorry Bella but the road to La Push is long and I have to get to clean up my room and everything , you know how is it"

"Is seven in the morning"

"The sooner the better, right? Also, shouldn't you go to school? This year you graduate, right? It's important and you know it! "I really tried to make the most serious face I could get in this situation.

"As much as I entertain myself looking at your discussion, she's right Bella, this month's are crucial for your studies" I raised an eyebrow when he said 'yours' instead of 'ours'. As I had been told by Bella, Edward was in the same year as her like his sister Alice and his brother Jasper, but I was told too that they were extremely intelligent, was it so much that they didn't need to care about that? It was pretty amazing, but it was quite strange at the same time.

I could see Edward as he tensed a little and that made me more curious, it was almost as if he could read my thoughts, because every time I thought of something about him he would be acting that way, although it would be pretty bad for the poor boy, if I don't even know what I think most of the time because I think of so many things at the same time, how could the poor boy could stand it? ... Great, now I was starting to think about weird things.

_I think you're going crazy._

Yes, I think so too, is sad that even my own conscience tells me that.

_Yes, it's very sad._

"If you say so" I came back to reality after half a second while Bella sighed in surrender. I looked at Edward for a moment, smiling knowingly, he smile slight back at me "Just don't let Charlie see you, and the next time you come, let Elliot bring you, you can also call me to get you. I don't plan to spend the rest of the life with remorse of conscience if you get into an accident "

"I live in La Push!"

"You're still living in the United States!"

"You really look alike" Edward chuckled.

"**_Hey!"_**

"I said nothing" He raised his hands in peace mode as he walked towards the door, "It was good to see you Lua, please consider my offer to come to my house one day," I nodded before he left.

"I have to go" Only when she hung a bag in her shoulder as she sighed, was that I realized that Bella had held it in her hand the whole time, "You sure you don't want me to go with you? I doubt that missing class one day can get my notes down or something like that "I rolled my eyes as I walked toward the door, finding when I was totally outside Edward beside a shiny Volvo. I look at it for a moment without blinking before turn around to her.

"I'm fine, but now I'm worried about you. I know you too well, but I also know the speed of that car, can you really stand it? "

"That's a very good question," she chuckled, locking the door before turning around and hugging me "You can come whenever you want, you know it, right? This is your home as well"

"I know," I mumbled against the fabric of her shirt. Side smiled when we parted, waving goodbye with a hand as she walked to the Volvo while Edward opened her door for her-Hey, that's interesting, she does not only speaks like he were from another era but also acted like he was from another time. He turned to look at me a moment, as if he were about to claim me something but only said goodbye with a nod.

I watched as they drive away, standing in the same place.

Perhaps it was more for the fact that now I was alone that I allowed myself to stop smiling slowly. The muscles in my face hurt a bit, perhaps because I had smiled over the last 12 hours more than what I smiled in a week or maybe two. I struggle inside the sweater, feeling suddenly smaller than usual, there alone in the driveway.

Drag the steps up to the car, opening it heavily before entering, leaving the bag with clothes in the passenger seat at the place where I had removed the hot chocolate earlier.

It probably took me starting the car more time that what it took me to get to La Push, and that because the streets were completely wet as the day before, at least not so cold as it had done before. As much as I'd like that weather, I knew that it was not healthy.

I stared at the front door of my house with every intention of staying there, inside the car, for the whole morning, or at least until I got hungry. Actually, I had to buy a pet or something; these moments of solitude couldn't be good for anyone. Maybe a dog, though I doubted it... bha, with a goldfish was enough ... I think ...

At the time when I paid attention to my phone, I saw all the missed calls from 'unknown number' and the reality hit me right in the face again. If I had said that I had forgot about Seth during the time I had been in Bella's house, it would have been a lie, because I even had spoken about him to her, but one thing was that and another thing was to remember yesterday's.

I could still hear his voice- hoarse, angry; I could hear it in my ears.

And what I had felt at that moment was captured on my chest once again, as if it were some sort of unwanted prisoners, but not wanting to go through what had happened for the first time I felt it, I stopped to analyze it. Fear was certainly there, but to be honest I could not find the slightest sense to the pressure that stayed in my heart.

I didn't feel the least bit guilty for what I had said to him, because it was the truth, but now I think I could have discussed it in other way, a better way.

I pulled the phone again to the floor of the front car while lean my forehead in the top of the wheel. Now what the hell what was I doing? I had fought to cut ties with the world, and now I said I wanted to discuss with someone about something? I was really be going crazy, that was the only explanation I had.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment before raising my head, still with my eyes close, and I took a very deep breath. I had to refer me, I was not going to lose all control I got over the years just for one persona, it had cost me to get it without the medication, but at the end I could do it.

No, I was not going to let it go.

But because I was confident in that decision the fate deliberates decided to put Seth Clearwater in front of my car for when I opened my eyes.

I almost had a heart attack right there and as a reflex I pressed the accelerator with all the force that my feet had. Thank goodness the car was not on. I opened my mouth, sucking a big breath while relaxing my posture, looking at his face. It was like most of the times I had seen him- a extraordinary mixture of feelings.

I stared at him for a moment before slowly picking up my phone from the floor, also taking the bag before opening the door. As I stood outside, I realized that at some point where I had blinked, he had moved to stand beside me.

And then he hugged me.

I was very close to yelling and certainly I was about to kick him where the sun doesn't shine, but his breath beating against my ear as he whispered stopped me.

"Sorry," I stopped moving my arms as he held me more tightly, bending over as he got me more against him. I felt very hot- his body irradiated warm "Sorry for hitting you with the door-I swear that not even in a thousand years I would hurt you, I regret having run yesterday, I'm sorry I called you and talked like that-I shouldn't have yelled on the phone, either getting angry. I'm an idiot, you can call me like that at anytime. But when I realized that you were not here, I just didn't know what to do"

I couldn't believe that a fragile voice could come from someone as stupidly big as Seth. His head was buried in my hair, his chin tucked in the crook of my neck.

For a moment I put aside my desire to stay away from people, and met with the great surprise that I didn't want him to go away-I didn't want him to feel sadness, not for me, didn't want him to apologize to me when I should be the one apologizing.

But I also found, that I didn't know how to comfort someone anymore.

Then it started raining.

"Damn" It was when Seth let me that the two of us looked to the sky. At what point it had become so gray? I had no idea, didn't notice it at all. I closed the car door with one hand, feeling Seth's arms still around me. I looked up, meeting his gaze- he was looking at me again like the first time we met, but now we didn't have much time to discuss that, "We should go in"

I got rid of his grip and ran to the house. I didn't turn to see if he was following me, because following me was what a sane person would be doing right now. Remove the keys from my pocket and opened the door quickly, leaving it open a second longer so he could go in. He had been following so I didn't had to keep it open for long.

"Are you very wet?" Asked without turning around, leaving my coat on the rack and the keys on the plate that was on one of the furniture next to the door.

"No, it almost didn't touch me" When I turned around I found I was looking around the house with real curiosity, like a new world to explore. I struggle a little as I walked into the kitchen slowly.

"Want something to drink?"

"No thanks, I'm fine" he kept looking at the house, inspecting it like he was making some kind of professional analysis. I shrugged, I guess it was OK- 'I mean, there was nothing to hide, never knew when Dad would show up so we always kept the house clean and tidy, our things in our rooms, we left the house almost as dad had decorated .

Well, the only change was certainly the play 3 that was installed under the main TV, but it certainly was not something that my dad t wanted to mess with, because when someone messes with things that my brother and I shared ... the result is not nice ... at all.

"Karate?" I left my mental lapses when I heard his voice again and looked at him. He was looking at the photos on the bigger shelves of the room, but let his eyes on the trophies and medals. They were of different sizes and colors and I could see him reading the names engraved on them, some even had belts tied to them, as a reminder of the time when we left themto go to the next level.

"Some of them are my brother's, most of them are" I appreciate them for a moment with a smile, I could remember each of the championships "Only five of them are mine, medals also, my brother is the star, always win trophies in tournaments and championships "

"That's great!" His face lit "How did you learned?"

"My dad has a Dojo in Port Angels" I title my face a little, leaning on the door frame "Since I can remember I have been trained with my brother, I reached black belt a couple of years ago ..." I mentally kicked myself when I realized I was giving too much useless and boring information, so I look at him, apologetically "Sorry, this doesn't interest you"

"No, no, please don't say that" He shook his head and grinned "It's very interesting, please continue"

"I don't understand how the life of a person as me can be interesting" I winced and his face suddenly turned serious. I blinked in surprise- how could he change so fast? Was he bipolar?

"One person ... like you?" Practically spat the words and at some moment he was only a few steps away from me "Lua, never-never, _ever _say that again, you're an amazing person, and you don't deserve to think less of yourself "

I looked at him with a incredulous look, but then I felt a small smile crossing my lips.

"I'll never get to understand you" I shook my head slightly, sighing after "Are you always so positive?"

"Yep" After a moment, his face turned into happy one again, accentuating the letter 'p' "Usually people complain, it really bothers you?" Now he looked worried. Okay, I was starting to think again that he was seriously bipolar.

"I'm not used to, that's all" I shook my head, taking off my back from where I was lying as I approached to the photos. I took in my hands one that was taken when I won the black belt. My brother was smiling as he hugged me from my back, and my father was on one side, smiling slightly.

Anyone could see that my father was not in the least Quileute. His features were foreigners and they were fine. My grandfather was Japanese, while my grandmother was from Ireland. My dad ended up having a skin tone between light and tan, with dark brown straight hair and dark eyes, but his features were like a European.

Neither Elliot nor I looked at him, we knew that.

And if Seth notices he also did a very good job hiding his curiosity, because he just stood there behind me, looking at the same picture as me.

The silence was not uncomfortable, it was ... normal.

And that was beginning to relax me.

But even ... there was something that was bothering me too much.

"Why ... are you talking to me?" I didn't need to turn around to see him to know he had a hurt expression on his face right now as I placed the framed picture in its place. I turned slowly towards him, finding his face surprisingly thoughtful and eyes on the ground. A couple of seconds later he look at me again, and there I could see the pain because my words. _Take a deep breath Lua_, I had to concentrate.

"... Why wouldn't I?" His voice was slow, careful, as if his words were some kind of experiment, as if groping ground.

But his response took me by surprise.

"Well ... it seems pretty obvious" I title my face, and he looked at me with confusion "is the reason why everyone in the school ... look at me weird"

"Lua, I don't notice expressions of other people when I'm looking at someone that I want to talk to, someone like you, so you have to be a little more specific"

"It is impossible to overlook something like that Seth, believe me" I shook my head but I stopped for a moment, "Wait ... you ... don't know why they look at me like that?"

"What are you talking about? You are interesting, but I don't understand why someone would look weird at you, it's not like you are someone that could cause problems or start fights ... thing that you don't do, right? "

"You ... really don't know?" I looked at him without knowing what to say, was he talking seriously? But suddenly that explained everything- he didn't know, he didn't know what had happened, that's why he was not looking at me as the people looked at me in school

It was because he didn't know.

"Know what?" He cautiously looked at me, almost as if he was afraid that I react badly. I was certain that he had noticed my change of expression, because I was completely sure that my face reflected my feelings at this time "Lua? What is it? Are you okay? "Now his face had been one of panic as he came closer to me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

Even if I had tried I knew I couldn't have removed his hands because his firm grip. And even if I had the strength to do it, my arms hanged at my sides, lifeless, listless.

I was remembering the day of the accident.

With this hands that had made that mistake, with this hands that had had done something horrible.

I couldn't touch someone like Seth with these hands, I would never forgive myself.

I looked at him a little, lifting my face. He kept his lips moving but I couldn't hear the words coming out of them, I couldn't hear anything besides the rain that appeared in my memories, the cries and tears, the sobs.

It was when I couldn't stand it.

"You have to go"

And then his lips closed, showing me that I had said those words aloud. Rather than clarify it, I just looked at him, showing him that by the time I really meant my words. I hopped that he didn't take it in a bad way. He stood there for a moment before lowering his head and putting his hand into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper.

"This is my number ... call me if anything happens, ok?" He smiled weakly, leaving the paper on top of one of the furniture. He make his way to the door, and before leaving for the last time he looked at me.

I could see the concern in his eyes.

And after a second, the door closed behind him.

I stood there for what seemed like hours, opening and closing my hands, turning them into fists, seeking to control my feelings. I felt like my breathing was trying to get altered, as the adrenaline began to run through my veins. I had no choice but to run into the kitchen and almost break the door looking for water to take the pills that I had grabbed from one of the cupboards.

Had recently had enough control over my temper as not to have to resort to medicine, but now I sincerely didn't feel in the condition of oppose my own temper. I was tired, for a moment, to escape from myself.

I took a deep breath when I did so, and when I heard the glass breaking I realized that I had lose my grip from the glass that had the water and it crashed into the floor.

I stared at it for a moment before my vision became very blurry as my eyes began to hurt a little.

I was crying.

I had not cried in years, not since Jake stopped visiting me when I was little, but now I was doing it and didn't know why.

But I didn't attempt to clean them away, I didn't try to stop them at all, not even try to stop the pain that oppressed my heart, I just stared at the broken glass on the floor and the spread water at my feet, soaking my already soaked converse.

I deserved it, why should I try to push it away? It was my destiny, it was a punishment.

I knew it.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi! I'm very happy to see all the visits I got every day, thank you very much!

The deal is still on: **The more reviews I got, the sooner I uploud or by it's defect, the longest the chapter will be. Remember it!**

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"Sometines words ar not enough" Lemony Shicket.

* * *

"What the fuck did you say to my brother?" One hand came out from behind my head, closing the locker door tightly, leaning against it. I stared at the arm for a moment before slowly turn around, turning the Ipod headphones out before hanging them up my neck and lifted my head to look in the eyes of the person who was just a step and a half in front of me.

I sighed in surrender when I noticed that person had her head leaned to see me in the eyes, but I still didn't break eye contact with the girl before me, not passing by unnoticed the heat that I took as familiar that was irradiated by the arm that was still at the side of my head against the locker.

Leah Clearwater.

"What did you say to my brother?" She repeated as she hissed, moving menacingly forward to impose her presence to me. And she really did, but my body just stood there while my eyes were looking at her face.

She let out a groan when I didn't respond, which made me lift and eyebrow. It was not the first time I had heard that from one of the Clearwater, and certainly was one thing that caught my attention with force.

"I have crossed a few words with your brother, so you have to be a little more specific"

"He came home yesterday shattered, all wet, saying that you had told him to get out of your house" She specify slowly, as if trying to calm herself down, but her expression said that her efforts were completely in vain.

"If you mean I told him to leave my house, yes, I said that" I nodded slightly, with a monotonous voice, probably looking strangely calm. Leah's hand came off as fast as she could, squeezing it into a fist and tightening her teeth. I looked at her fist a moment before turning to look at her face.

She was upset, I was very upset.

But the medicine was so potent in my system that it didn't activate any of the alarms that are usually activated in these kind of moments.

"I preferred by far to get him out of there, than to hurt someone who does not deserve it" I raised my left hand and watched the white bandages that covered almost all my palm, even a good part of the fingers. I could feel her eyes on me and when I turned to Leah, I found that she looked surprised.

But he also seemed confused.

"Seth is ... a good person ..." I nodded, more to myself than to her, but her eyes were on me so I decided to return the stares as I shrugged "He is not someone who deserves bad things"

I wondered for a moment what would happen if he were present to hear me say those words. I'm sure he would accuse me of bipolar as I had done many times in my mind with him, because the way I had treated him yesterday when I told him to leave was not at all friendly.

And then Elliot came walking from the other side of the aisle, staring at Leah.

He took her arm too abruptly for me to consider it okay and she pulled her away from me, standing in front of me, leaving me between his body and the lockers.

"What do you want with my sister, Leah? Perhaps it was not enough for you and your friends that your brother has stamped a door against her face? "Elliot took another step forward, further raising the chin. Leah was high-high enough to be almost the same level of eyes with him.

The two looked at each other in a way so intense that people around could swear to see the sparks that were created at the point where their views connected, each with his jaw tensed and narrowed eyes, challenging the person who was in front of each.

"Aniki, enough" I looked out one side, looking up to see him "Leah did nothing, and besides-"

"Don't defend her Lua, she is part of _that_ group" He muttered so low that I thought I was the only one who could have hear him, but when Lea let out a growl I realized that she had hear it too, and at the same time I did.

But by the time she was opening her mouth to protest, I was in front of him with a frown.

"I thought we were past this stage" I muttered under my breath and he looked at me, ordering me to move. I glued my feet harder against the ground and his eyes narrowed to penalties. It could be that I couldn't get really mad, because the medicine prevented me, but that was no obstacle at the time of making a point.

"Lua, don't start with that"

"Then don't make me star it" I didn't took my eyes of, but I looked at him with sadness "Please, not now" I almost imperceptibly shook my head, and he did or said nothing more, and I took his silent as a response. I turned, looking at Leah-She was looking at my brother with a smirk on her lips, victorious, but when she noticed that I was looking at she returned the eye contact "Sorry Leah, my brother can sometimes be to over protective'

He opened his mouth, ready to answer, but her lips formed a grin and closed it again, with an expression of weakness in the face. She sighed, moved her head from side to face, looking at me, and then stood still.

"Okay ..." She said slowly, like she was not sure how it would sound if she did so, reminding me for some reason a child who has been asked to apologize to someone. It was quite interesting to see it in her. After that she turned around and gave me a nod in farewell before walking as if nothing had happened. I looked at her back for a moment before turning to my brother and see that he was still looking in the same way.

"Don't look at me like that, you're the one who decided out of nowhere acting like a jerk, but I appreciate you worry about me"

"Sometimes I think you're too flexible with people" He was frowning, but then he sighed, shaking his head. He knew it was a completely lost case, it was good that has surrendered many years ago to get me to reason with this kind of thing, "One of these days you're going to get in trouble for that, and I will not be there to get you out in one piece "

"It may happen" I shrugged, surrounding him to my close properly my locker before looking at him, tilting my face to the right "but God gave me this life because he knew I was strong enough to live it, so if I fall I have no choice but to learn how to fall without ending harmed"

He said nothing when I turned around and started walking towards my first class, I didn't turn to see if agree with me or not, because I knew it didn't matter, my brother would always support me, was one of the few things which I clung on and was also one of the few things I knew I would have for the rest of my life: my brother's confidence one me.

When I reached the classroom, there were just a few people inside, but I still felt extremely exposed. I always arrived early to not see people come in, not to find that, if I didn't move, nobody could notice me. I never wanted to see that. For the same reason, now that I had broken the routine that had for so long, I felt like I didn't know what to do.

I could very easily turn around and hide until the next class, or lock me in the infirmary with the excuse that I had hurt when I teach classes yesterday. There were many options to get out of there as fast as possible, but then I happened to look to my table, hoping to regain my sanity if I saw it empty.

But the fact was that it was not.

Seth was sitting next to my chair, staring at me, and I was surprised that I hadn't realized it until this moment.

The memories of the past days that had been buried by the medicine hit my mind with force, and the hand that was bandaged mysteriously started to hurt. I had cut almost all my hand picking up the pieces of glass that had been left behind the glass that I had dropped.

I think he expected me to turn around and ran off as I had planned to do, because he closed his eyes with a look of frustration and hit one of his hands to his forehead when he saw that I was hesitant. It was such a simple action that if it wasn't Seth, I wouldn't have noticed, but the reality was that I had noticed it, and that I was walking towards the table at this very moment.

He looked surprised with his hand still near his face when I rolled the chair next to him, leaving my bag on the table and sitting down, leaning in the back of the chair and looking out the window. I could feel his eyes on me; I could feel the heat across the distance between us and through the fabric of my clothes, reaching my skin.

But I didn't turn to face him.

I couldn't, didn't want him to see the blush that was on my face, and if he did- Well, I couldn't do anything but pray that he thought it was because the heat that he disengaged and not because of his proximity itself.

I could do nothing but pray.

* * *

The headache I had for the moment that the bell rang could compete with any labor pain than any woman in the world might be feeling right now. I felt like each of my neurons throbbed hard against my skull, as if they had been inflated and no longer had enough space inside it, as if they were asking me out loudly to let them out.

Believe me, if I could have done it from the moment that I realized that medicine had ceased to work, I would have done it.

"Are you okay?" I had realized that all along I had been watched by Seth, and therefore it was quite obvious that he would notice my sudden change of expression for over half an hour. I wanted to respond, say something intelligent to wriggle out of the situation, but if I couldn't even think clearly I doubted I could give him an answer that made sense.

"... My head ..." I think the fact that I muttered the words under my breath and practically growled when after telling that I feel like my brain was being staved, made Seth realized that something was definitely not right.

Normally I would have refused his help because the way in which he helped me up, drew more than a undesirable look, but I was unable to do anything, and the guy was helping me even if it meant losing his break, I couldn't treat him that way.

And the headache returned.

I growled softly and Seth had squeezed his arm around my waist, pressing over my right hand that was clutching by his right one, and I knew that he had heard it. It was embarrassing because more than once I was told I looked like an animal doing that, but right know I had no head to be thinking about the prejudices of my bad habits.

By the time I realized, or at least when I took note a little of the outside world, I was lying in the same bed I had used when I had the small accident with my nose and the door. I was vaguely aware that Seth was talking with Miss B at some point, but the notion of time that I had right now was a joke, so I couldn't really tell.

I also listen to Miss B scolding me, that's when I decided to disconnect completely and concentrate on the points of my brain that didn't hurt.

I didn't have much success though.

"Can't you at least give her anything to calm the pain!?" I had heard the Seth's voice around, as if he was at my side, and I was quite sure that he didn't sound happy at all.  
"This well by painkillers, suggesting that gives you more?"  
Try opening your eyes to look at Miss B and tell somehow that was not far away with the information you gave, but when I do not succeed I just gave up. My body was too heavy to hold so I sank further into the couch if possible.

I could have spent days in that position and I wouldn't be aware of it, I stood with eyes closed all time. I could have fallen asleep or been awake the whole time, but didn't really know, I felt tired and as before, I couldn't think clearly.

It was a long time after the headache faded gradually, becoming one quite normal. I opened my eyes a bit, just to get used to the change of the light as I got up very, _very_ slowly, one hand on my head.

"You're better?" I looked up to see Miss B rose from her desk, taking something like a tray of food in her hands before approaching to me. I looked at t was a the side of the bed- there was a chair, and I was almost completely sure that a certain black haired boy had used it to some point.

"Where ... Where is Seth? "

"I somehow managed to convince him to go to class, you really didn't notice that? I could have sworn that the whole school could hear his screams "I shook my head and she nodded, leaving the tray of food on my lap" Your brother came with it, he managed to saved it before going to classes"

"Thanks," I murmured softly, looking reluctantly food. I felt as I watched and as he sat on the edge of the couch next to me. Lift the view-had a hand in the pocket of her robe. I sighed. He knew that pose.

"Now that you are conscious, you mind telling me why you took your medicine? I thought you managed to control without them, I had done the right therapy for many months " She stared at me and I felt she was reading the soul with just that. Perhaps in the university they thought doctors how to look at their patients so that they couldn't hide anything from them? If there was some stuff like that, there was no doubt that Miss B had graduated with honors at that class.

"... I had a slip ..." To avoid any unnecessary information out of my mouth I got into some food into it, hoping to chew slowly enough to not have time to unoccupied it.

"A slip" She nodded a little and sighed "Lua, what is happening to you? This week you had visited the nursing more than what you have done in a month, I'm worried about you. Is there something that your psychologist should know? Is it because Seth? "

And didn't understand how she knew that kind of things every time we had a conversation like this, I just couldn't do it, I reached the point to have a theory that she was psychic.

"... He ... doesn't know about the accident" I muttered so softly that she probably hadn't heard right. I could see she was still looking at me, trying to read my words and know what I had said. When she understood it in, her mouth formed a 'o' as her face was quite surprised.

"He really doesn't know about it?" I shook my head, "Well ... that's ... weird" She grimaced with the mouth "are you completely sure?"

"Unfortunately"

"I knew the guy was clueless, but to get to this point ..." She paused a moment, looking at some point in the door as she stretched her legs a bit. After a couple of minutes in silence she turned to look at me "Maybe this is good for you"

"Are you suggesting me to not tell him about that? At some point someone will, his friends are starting to act strange when we're together, they looked at us all the stupid class "I muttered under my breath.

"I don't mean that," She sighed "Look, he knows about you being a black belt?" I nodded "When he gets to know what happened, you may not get to judge by him. I mean, it's been months and your record is still clean, you keep doing martial arts, it's obvious that you're not dangerous ... Seth is a different guy, maybe he can see what others couldn't"

"It's a possibility," I whispered, leaving the tray aside, closing my eyes as I took my legs out of the bed "But it's so unlikely that I will not risk to hold on to it," When I opened my eyes, the room was suddenly darker. I didn't look at her when I took my bag from the floor or when I walked towards the door.

"Thanks for everything, Miss B, I apologize for the inconvenience"

"You can't run forever, Lua" She called after me, "You are who you are, you have to accept it, to hide it from the rest of the world will not do you any good"

_I know._

I really would have liked to say that before closing the door, but I didn't have the courage to admit it in front of another person. Didn't have it.

The corridors were empty; I knew the bell had sounded long ago, so there was not much point in going to the classroom. But I did go, I couldn't miss the opportunity to have something to occupy my mind off, it didn't matter how little it was, and history was the perfect opportunity. I only hoped that Mrs. Tremble had compassion for me and let me in even though it was late.

I sighed. That didn't seem possible.

As I got closer I could see as two persons stood in front of the door of my classroom. Jake and Leah. I felt strange because it was the first time I saw them together, and you could tell that neither of them liked each other's company. They were with their arms folded in front of their chest, quietly discussing something with a straight face.

Jake was the first one to notice me when I was a couple of feet away. He didn't seem the least bit surprised to see me outside of class. When Leah was them one to look at me I didn't understand why the two had a look so ... weird in the face.

"Feel better?"I raised an eyebrow in surprise when they intercepted before I could reach the door, sounding a little tense.

"How did you know that something had happened to me?"

"The news are moving fast" Leah grinned with her mouth and for some reason I knew she was lying, but did not understand why "That does not answer my question"

"I'm better"

"You don't look well enough," Jake looked at me with mock surprise and that made me even more suspicious, what happened? Why they were hiding something? I saw no reason to it. "Why don't you go back to the nurse? Or better yet, I can take you to your house, I have no problem to do that" He had begun to take a step forward and I could tell he was nervous, so I didn't move from my place.

"I'm fine, I need to go to class"

"No, you don't need to, not today, you need to go _home _and rest" Leah's tone was harsh but I could say that like Jake, she was nervous, just a little but she was. They looked at each other and I stop to look at them both. Something was wrong. I saw behind them the classroom door so I took advantage of the opportunity.

I dodge them and before they could stop me, I opened the door and enter.

What I saw was the last thing I expected.

Some chairs were moved and others were completely driven into the ground, some tables were misaligned and all the people were whispering between them. I pay no attention to what they were saying for a moment, I really thought that a hurricane had passed, but when I heard 'Seth' my head automatically went up, searching for the sound of that name again.

"Lua, you better get out of here" Jake came in, and I was not sure why he mumbled his words so I looked up to see him. He, in the other hand, took one of my wrists, turning me around to pull me out of the room, but I could hear echoing a word that came out from somewhere else in the room.

"It's her fault"

I don't know if Jake had stopped voluntarily or had stopped because I had glued my feet on the floor when I heard that sentence, stopping him too. He turned to look me over his shoulder, a look that clearly said 'don't do it' but by the time I finish decipher the look I got rid of his grip on me and turned to face whoever had said.

It was not very difficult to find, after all, the whole class was looking at him. I recognized him from some of my classes, but couldn't say much because almost everyone on the reservation looked alike.

"Joseph ..."

"What? Don't try to tell me that you like the way she acts. It blows me away how she choose to ignore use all as if we were insects "Joseph looked at those who were at his sides and then he looked at me again, with a frown and a look that said what he thought" Seth was good enough to try to talk to her, and look what happened- I'm sure somehow you blackmailed him to do this things! "

It wasn't very difficult to guess what had happened. I scanned the room with my eyes was and noticed that the teacher was not here.

"Dude, you don't want to continue with what you are saying" Leah stepped forward, frowning and with her hands made fists fiercely.

Surprisingly, Joseph didn't look so scared; he didn't even took a step backward. Tensed, yes, but looked back and held in place.

Poor fool.

"What? Perhaps you're cold enough to ignore this? Is your brother we're talking about, don't tell me you do not care! "

"Oh, please, make him to shut up before I force him to" she muttered under his breath, clenching her fists even more and I could see Jake taking a couple of steps to be at her side, staring defiantly at Joseph. But he was looking at me again, with the same expression he had before.

"What? Not going to say anything? Did you blackmailed them also to defend you? That just proves my point! "The murmurs began to get louder, echoing in my eardrums.

Noise.

Lots of noise.

Lots.

Leah and Jacob began to argue with him, but I couldn't hear their voices, it was like I was in a room full of people shouting when only three of twenty were talking. The headache was back, and I knew the sound that was causing the pain increase. Although I didn't know what he was saying at that moment, I saw Joseph opening his mouth again, and I could almost feel the words ready to go out of my throat.

"Shut up"

The silence was sepulchral.

He looked into the room, looking for who had said, and when his eyes fell on me he stayed still.

Perhaps it was because the effect of the medicine had passed long ago, maybe it was because this day was not a good one at all, maybe it was the fact that my head hurt that even I could feel how the anger went up to my pores, making at least Joseph to realized my mood change.  
He opened his mouth again.

"I said" I took three steps forward, from Leah and Jake, being face to face with Joseph to the point that we only had inches separating us. I looked into his eyes, and I could see my eyes reflected in them, but for the moment being I ignored the aggressiveness that I saw in myself "_shut up_" his mouth closed and his lips formed a hard, flat line "You can say whatever you want about me, but if there is something I can't stand, if there's something I hate, is people speaking bad about people that does not deserve it. You call yourself Seth's friend when you are implying that he can get so low as to be blackmailed? I talked to him for less than a week, but I think I think better about him than you"

I turned to Jake and Leah, who looked a little surprised but with a smile on their faces.

"Where is Seth?"

* * *

"Elliot will definitely not be at all happy when he notice that you are not in school," Jake chuckled as he drove an old rabbit. Leah was in the back seat while I was next to Jake. I looked out the window- We were passing by a lot of trees and I could tell that we were going more into the reservation. I had not been here in a while, not since the last time I went to the beach with my brother.

"At some point I'll text him" I muttered vaguely, not peeling my eyes off the window. We passed the trees after a few moments, giving way to the part of the road that was next to the cliffs. My view was fixed by inertia on the point of one of the cliffs that some used to jump. Once Elliot had done it, I could still remember how he screamed like a girl.

It gave me a chill just thinking of how freezing the water was at this time.

"Seth is there" Leah's voice pulled me out of my thoughts when she noticed what I was looking at, calling my attention. I focused even more but couldn't see anyone "Maybe he is into the forest, but he is there"

"Are you sure?"

"Completely" I turned to see Jake nodded as he accelerated a bit more "You know how to get there? We can help you find where he is if you don't"

"I think I'm fine, just have to go straight, right?" He nodded again. I didn't really wait for anyone to say something when he stopped at the front of the forest. I just opened my door, closed it and started to walk inside it.

The forest was dense and moist, was overwhelming and it cost me to even breathe. It was very uncomfortable and I was starting to feel tired very quickly, but I didn't stop. Breathe the way you remembered that my father had taught me when I breathe and that helped cost a lot, but was still tired.

After a few minutes of walking I seriously started to thinking that I was lost and I was about to stop, but then I saw where it was the clear of the edge of the cliff. Didn't speed up my pace because I really couldn't, but didn't stop, I didn't until I saw Seth sitting on the fine line between the trees and the beginning of the stones, facing the sea.

"You have to find a place to think closer to the highway" I said without breath for a moment when I was close enough, resting a hand in the nearest tree. He stood up, visibly surprised, but before that I could have sworn that I saw a shadow of anger on his face, and that's what surprised me.

"What are you doing here?" And his voice was just as surprised.

"To jump from the cliff, is something that I always liked, you know?" I sighed, finishing to breathe very deep. But his face looked confused, so my eyes went blank "Seth, is a joke, laugh" He relaxed a little, but didn't do as I had said, although he smiled, so I relax a little, "Are you okay?" And that seemed the most logical thing to ask in this situation.

"That I should I ask you, how's your head?" He moved closer to me, with a hint of concern on his face.

"It's okay" I tilted my face and grinned as I shrugged "Not one of my best moments" muttered more to myself than to him, but apparently he also heard that because he laughed a little. I barely smiled back, but then the why I had come came to mind and I stood a little restless. He looked at me curiously "Seth?" He seemed even more attentive, as if with his eyes he was encouraging me to ask what I wanted "Why did you do that at school?"

His face was broken and his face turned to one of anger.

"... They said bad things about you, absurdities, like you were crazy and things like that" He shook his head, frowning, as if trying to dispel some kind of bad memory from his head "Even though I knew that everything they said was lies I couldn't contain myself, it annoyed me so much that my own friends tell lies like those that I couldn't stop "I saw that his fists were clenched to the point that his knuckles were white.

There was silence as he had his eyes closed, taking deep breaths to calm down, and I watched him. He was so innocent, was so sweet, I was naive but I was happy for a moment.  
That a person was willing to defend me was unusual.

But he was defending me from the truth, thinking it was a lie told by his friends. Could I live with my consciousness knowing that he stayed away from his friends just because I wanted to have someone to talk to? Don't think so, not thought possible in the least.

So I sighed.

"... They really believe that is the truth, don't blame them for that," He opened his eyes just when I started to talk and looked at me with confusion. I shook my head, this was going to be difficult, but I had to do it. Now was not for me, was for the person who had been willing to be my friend "They really think that is true, and they just wanted to protect you, they are good friends, please don't think you are lying"

"What are you talking about? I'm sure they are lying! "His face became indignant" How could they even think that you are a person crazy, aggressive!? I know you do martial arts, but I do not think that is a reason to say such dumb things! "

"No, that's no reason to say that" I titled my face and he looked even more confused, "I gave them a real one about a year and a half or so, maybe a little more" I didn't look into his eyes to not see the reaction he would have on them when I drop the bomb, so I looked at the horizon. There were gray clouds in the sky, typical, and I could hear if I paid much attention as the waves were gently hitting the rocks of the cliff "A while ago Elliot had to wear a cast on one arm, he had broken it" I started slowly "The seniors at school had always wanted the opportunity to show that even studying martial arts he remained inferior to them, and when they saw him waiting for me after school with that on... they didn't hesitate twice to exploit the situation."

I felt as the anger began to grow in my chest but I managed to take control of my emotions, clenching my fists to distract and to not make any stupid thing or lose control at this time. I took a deep breath.

"They were three against a person that couldn't use his arm. My classes ended late, so I was running, when I saw him I froze, and when they saw me they tried to do the same with me ... and everything turned red "the words slipped through my lips with ease and strength, as if they had wanted me to release them for a long time, as if they were desperate to be out of my lips "I was diagnosed with mild intermittent explosive disorder, but that day I hadn't taken my medication and to top of it I already had my black belt. I went crazy. And when I got to react they were lying on the ground bleeding, screaming, it had started to rain and I ... was standing in front of them"

"But ... but it was not your fault!" I didn't turn to see his face, didn't want to find that he was lying, would rather lie to myself for a little more before returning to reality. I was finding it quite easy to live in this illusion, and the sincerely concerned tone of Seth seemed so real that helped a lot.

I knew that reality was going to hit me where it hurt most after this.

"I know," He seemed shaken by my response, because he didn't interrupt me "So I got special permission to not attend to classes and travel abroad, I went to my grandparents' house in Ireland and studied there for more or less two or three months. Those who I had half killed, because I really had, were expulsed by increased aggression and extreme bullying "I took a couple of steps forward, just approaching to the brink" All teachers understood my situation, gave me their support, they understood that there it was in self/defense and in defense of my brother, who couldn't defend themselves in the situation where he was ... but that only made me feel worse "

He said nothing and I just turned around to see him. he was looking at the floor with his eyes open, but even though I knew he knew that I was watching he didn't looked up.

It's better that way.

Even if my heart closes itself and split in thousands of pieces in the process, is better that way

"Your friends are right," I shrugged, like I was not really feeling anything, but I was sure that my face was beginning to tell there was something wrong with me "When I came back from there, everybody started to avoid me, so I began to evade the rest of the world too, I wanted to cut all connections I had to it, for once, I didn't want to be a brother to anybo-"

"Listen to me, okay? Just listen to me ... "He put his hands on my shoulders firmly so I couldn't move even if I wanted, turning me back to him completely. I didn't know in which moment he stepped so close to me but now I had him fairly present "No matter how much you think you're not worth having friends in this world, because first: it's stupid and second you deserve it. I will not walk away from you just because other people say it, and if they repeat it, I will just keep ignoring them, no matter how many times I have to do it"

"But-"

"But what? You're saying you're going to deny me what will make me definitely happy? "His face crumbled for a second, transforming his serious expression into a one of sadness. I was speechless for a moment, but the warmth of his hands on my shoulders brought me back to reality.

"You'll be happy to be close to ... me?" It sounded impossible, and when I said it made it look even more stupid, but I was so shocked I couldn't worry about that right now.

"Absolutely"

I stared at him a moment, his eyes melting into mine with decision, transmitting the security that he wanted me to have to believe in that one word. Didn't take long to completely give it to me, so I just had one more thing to say at the moment.

"I hope you don't regret this later"

And he smiled confidently, secure. Somehow passing those feelings to me at the end, but just a little.

"I will not"

And I don't know why I believe him.


	7. Chapter 7

_This – thoughts, internal conversation._

* * *

_"People cry, not because they are weak, but because they've been strong for too long"_

* * *

When I was little, I always slept in Elliot's bed.

It had been a habit that I develop since my mom died, and one that I had long maintained, all the way until I was thirteen. Until then, I didn't touch my bed except to sit on top of it. He never bothered about it, more because my nightmares were not something that could be taken lightly.

Now, with fifteen years, I was in the same position as at that time, clutching the back of my brother's shirt while he snored loudly. I had to calm myself somehow and, to be honest, I had failed to think of anything besides this option. Although it was difficult to get to his room after the scolding that he gave me.

I don't know how, but Jake called me saying that Elliot had called him and that he had no choice but to tell him where I was. Thank goodness for that moment I was walking from the cliffs to the road with Seth, he even cough me in the middle of sending him a message.

Seth barely had time to jump into some tree when my brother's car parked in front of me with amazing skill.

But Elliot's face was even more impressive.

To say that I spend all the way at that moment, and then back from Port Angels scolding, I guess I can give an idea how it was. I could only thank heaven that my father had to give a private lesson on the second floor of his dojo, that had kept him away from us all night, I could not imagine what he was going to tell me if he found out, but I'm pretty sure that the only difference between his and Elliot's was going to be "Our ancestors were people of strong will, etc, etc, etc" I could just hear it in my head.

I had a headache only to remember the last time he scold me like that.

But I bet everything he says would probably be true.

Ever since I can remember, I have found an explanation for my actions, but now that I had done something that I had sworn never to do in life, I had nothing to work with. What had I been thinking when I started this game? When I had no idea of who would lose? Seth? Me? Who would end up hurt? Me, to discover that it was all a lie and that besides family I had no one else in the world? Or Seth, when he end up being miserable with me because a promise of something impossible?

I hated the two options.

_Maybe not, maybe all of this will end well._

My subconscious, at this time, was not helping me at all.

So I snuggled further against Elliot's back, trying to sleep.

Tomorrow would be a long day.

* * *

**BANG!**

I blinked a moment without understanding where the sound came, and when I started to look sideways discovered from where the sound came from.

Seth's hand in a locker.

And it looked like someone had pushed him.

It looked like a movie, really. Seth was with one hand against thelocker, slightly kneeling while his head was directed behind his shoulder, murmuring a few things. Lift my head to see that Quil and Jake were doing a couple of hand signs from a few meters away from us- obviously they had been those who had pushed him. I narrowed my eyes and they seemed to notice because when I looked at them, they turned around almost immediately, practically running in the other direction.

I sighed. Would I need to get used to this?

When I looked at Seth again, he kept muttering things without looking at me, and was when I noticed there were whispers around us. I expected it, and I had prepared for them, but I was fighting back and it was beginning to brother me. When I became so weak? It had been months since the last time they whispered me like that, but as I said before, I expected it- I knew that my little exalt in the class yesterday had caused this.

I took a deep breath. But then I looked at Seth.

Somehow my concerns ... simply vanished, and when I realized I was closing my locker quickly and then I took the three steps that separated us, looking at him with curiosity.

"Are you okay?"

It was stupid and I had to lean almost to be at the same eye level, when he barely lifted his to see me.

I was surprised that he seemed a little nervous.

Although that hint of nervousness in his eyes was almost instantly forgotten when our eyes met, giving space to something that I couldn't recognize. He stood up quickly-too quickly, so I had to take a step back so that we didn't impact on each other. He smiled a little and as I barely smiled, his smile grew.

"Good Morning"

"Good morning," I nodded slightly.

Hey, don' blame me for being so awkward, didn't know what to do in such a situation. Completely antisocial, remember? Habits can't change so easily.

"Ready?"

His question, I must say, didn't took me by surprise but It took me unprepared. Don't know what to say was the truth- Well, I knew but didn't know if it was right. Lying or telling the truth? The embarrassing truth?

"Just tell me what to do"

The embarrassing truth.

I shrugged my shoulders, but my words assured him that I was ready. Just hoping he wouldn't notice that I was really excited to answer what I meant all morning.

"First, don't walk away from me" I blinked, confused, to what he meant, but he pointed to the ground with his finger. When I lower my head to see what he meant I noticed that I had receded at least three steps.

"Oh"

I pursed my lips, taking a couple of steps forward and looked up. I mentally kicked myself because I was sure I looked like a dog waiting for the approval of his master-I was sure I looked ridiculous. And he was smiling, pleased.

"Second, if there is a man very near who has nothing in his hands, a woman should not bear weight" didn't know how he took my books out of my hands so easily, but he had done and was now in the with a smile on his lips, as if he was even more pleased "Now, let's go"

I wanted to say 'doesn't seem like something a friend would do for another' but I decided to bite my tongue, because even in my mind that comment sounded stupid and I probably would leave me evidence that I was thinking about the wrong things.

Seth ran the little conversation we had the way to the room with ease, as if he had been prepared for all that monosyllabic answers that I gave him. I felt a little bad, so I responded longest things, trying to sound interesting, something I didn't know if it worked. And I didn't help anything that with everything I said he nodded, looking happy for just the fact that I was responding.

Everything was going theoretically well until we got to the classroom and everything sank into silence for a second. My breath was short-again, why, again, I had done what I had done? I was sure I had thrown away my efforts with the little scene yesterday.

But after a moment the talks returned, and I realized when I decided to lift my head, that no one was watching us.

I sighed with relief, but that feeling didn't last long.

I felt like the skin of the back of my neck went suddenly cold and without any prior notice.

And then I knew why.

I could feel his eyes on my back and I knew almost instinctively that it was Joseph- I was so sure that he was the one that I didn't even want to analyze it to know the feeling carried by that look, because I knew I wouldn't enjoy it at all . But at the end of it, it was my fault, so I could not complain, but ...

"Don't worry" But then, somehow, Seth could get my eyes to his face "Don't worry" he repeated as if I had not heard the first time, but I couldn't do more than nod, feeling really calm somehow.

For when we sat at the table-which was somewhat uncomfortable-I expected to see the teacher walked in the door, but instead it was the director who entered, causing the room to shut completely while walking towards the desk.

"Good morning students"

"Good morning," We responded in chorus all, some more loosely than others.

"Mr. Krinner had a downside this morning so he will not be able of come until the afternoon, so you have been given time to study, use it responsibly" He had not finish speaking when the room is full of conversation. I sighed with resignation and felt sorry for him as I watched him leave.

"And, that proves my law" Automatically I turned to see my table companion when I hear his voice, noticing that he was stretching his arms to the ceiling as he leaned over in his chair. He smiled when he saw that I looked curious "You know Murphy's Law?"

"Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, right?"

"Exactly," He nodded but that confused me even more, "I have a law that challenges that one" straightened in his chair, stooping as if to be at the same eye level as me, but I try not to show that it bothered me a little "In Murphy's law is always one thing that triggered the rest, well, my law is that once something good happens, the rest of the things on that day will go well"

"I don't catch it..." I admitted, shaking my head.

"Today, you was the one that talked to me first" He tilted his face, but I had no time to react because he went on "That started the rest, now we have the class to talk" head leaned closer, reminding me of a puppy that wants to be complimented by his master.

... I was really the one that just though that?

_Ye-_

Don't answer! I want to keep my sanity!

_Honey, you lost your sanity when you started to answer me._

I'm making an effort here, give me some credit.

"I still don't understand you ..." I shook my head, looking quickly towards my book, drawing circles on the front page as if it were the most important thing in this world "One thing can always go wrong in the day" I muttered under my breath.

"I'm known for being very optimistic" could almost imagine him smiling from side to side.

"I'm known for being very pessimistic"

"We'll have to work on that then" seemed distracted with his words, and when I ventured to see out of the corner of my eye I could see that by his face that he was in a quite deep concentration. Out of nowhere he clapped his hands together, smiling again. I jump a little because the surprise "Let's play 20 questions" he turned to me.

"Too long"

"Then they are fifteen" I still looked at him, hoping he got my message, "Fine, seven, but it's my final offer" He rolled his eyes but kept smiling. I nodded a little and look at my book again, feeling as my hand continued to move "Me first?"

"Go ahead"

"Okay. Color you hate the most? "

"Shouldn't it be the one I like the most?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I am the one asking the questions" He looked funny and I sighed, looking at the circles again.

"White"

"Favorite movie?"

"Memories of a Geisha" When he said no more for a couple of seconds I again turned to him. He was looking at me with surprise on the face, and knowing what he meant by that I simply shrugged "is Japanese ... My dad is half Japanese, always made us see things like that and I end up liking it"

"That explains a lot" He smiled slightly, nodding and writing in the notebook he had open-wait a minute. I looked carefully at what he wrote and then looked at him again "I don't want to forget anything" He defended himself before I could even say anything. I stared at him a moment before returning to see the sheet- it was hopeless.

"Favorite food?" He started again after a moment.

"Chocolate Ice Cream"

"You don't look much like the sweet type" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's not my fault. If I don't cook, Elliot does. I have to drown my sorrows with something "I muttered under my breath.

"You two cook for yourselves? That is awesome! The last time I try to cook something Leah ended up calling the fire department! "His sincerity was such that I had no strength to think that he was joking or look at him with blank eyes, so instead a I smiled a little as my hand keep tracing circles on the sheet "What about your parents?"

"My dad lives in Port Angeles, there is the Dojo so is better for him, and sometimes when he doesn't have a lot of work he comes on weekends" He nodded slightly.

"And your mom? Does she live with your dad? "

My hand froze for a moment on its place, like the rest of the muscles in my body. I knew the question was coming up sometime, but to really hear someone ask was a completely different deal. Breathe deeply but secretly, feeling Seth's eyes on me, definitely noticing my reaction, and I force myself to keep drawing.

"She died when I was 4"

There was a long silence, too long and extremely uncomfortable. I turned my face to see Seth and I found he was staring at something, like he was having a deep conversation with himself or at least as if remembering something with great intensity.

After a second, he reacted, and opened his mouth; I supposed that to apologize, so I interrupted him before any words could come out of his mouth.

"You spent it the worst that I" I turned to see the sheet again, continuing with the circles "I heard about what happened to your father, my condolences" I knew that he had been looking at me like he was puzzled, as if it was really surprising that I said that, "By the way, your sister is a lot like my brother" I inquired with a smile just thinking of the comparison.

"... You ..." I turned to him- he seemed surprised, but he had a smile on his face "You're right!" We both laughed a little "Leah ... she likes you" He said slowly after a moment, as if he saw the how it sounded, like it was the first time he even though about it, even when he was the one saying that.

"She is interesting" I tilted my face to one side.

"I wonder how she would react if she heard that"

"It's a compliment," I grimaced "You're not going to continue with your questions?" I took a look at the notebook.

"You're right" I smiled and sighed relieved to change the subject and relieve the tension, turning back once more to resume my drawing.

"Why are you using sunglasses inside the building?"

But the relief and relaxation that had been there before dissipated in the minute I heard his words.

"That's something that, believe me, you do _not_ need to know" I said with all the sincerity in the world, hell, even I was surprised.

"I'll get you to tell me" I don't know how, but he took it as a challenge.

"Good luck with that Seth, good luck"

* * *

The promise of spending break together was forgotten when, out of nowhere, Seth ran out of the school with a simple 'see you later'. Without further explanation. I was wondering if he had some sort of complex with doing that, with running into the woods- because for some reason that wasn't really clear, I knew he had headed there.

And then I hid in the library after sending Elliot a message saying that I wanted to think.

And I did.

But my mind wouldn't cooperate with me.

I looked at the ceiling of the old library, trying to focus on something in particular, but again the images just passed through my mind. At least I didn't see the day of the accident, but didn't know whether to be happy that the Seth faces was the one that replaced them.

I was going crazy.

Or even worse, I was going ... sentimental.

I shook my head. That was not possible.

But that was the only logical thought that could cross my mind before the images returned.  
Didn't let me stay in peace until my next class, and it was not because I did it but because someone behind me was pushing my shoulders to one of the tables when I realized that I was inside the class room. I realized who it was when I was sitting in one of the seats of the back tables.

"Embry?" I looked up, blinking several times in confusion, as he took the seat next to me.

"It's the first time I notice that someone from Seth's year is in advanced biology " He kept smiling "It was only a couple of days ago that I realized that you sat in front, so I thought you could sit with me from now on "

"Ah ...?"

That 'so I thought' became more like an order, because he didn't let me go to my usual place, even though I had said I couldn't see well the board. He didn't even tell me to remove my glasses, he just said that he was going to get notes for the two of us.

It was strange- it was way too strange.

And it was the same with chemistry. Since when Quil is in that class anyway? I have not the slightest idea, believe me.

For lunch, after leaving my stuff in the locker somehow feeling that someone was watching me, I saw Jake at the cafeteria door with his arms crossed, obviously waiting for someone.

So I went in the other direction.

I was so confused that for the first time in my life my stomach cooperated with me and showed no signs of needing food. I slipped through the crowd that was going in the direction from which I was running, and somehow after crossing one of the corners I felt that no one was watching me and I sighed with relief.

What was going on today? First Seth disappeared and then it seems as if his friends were everywhere- and I mean everywhere around me. It was starting to drive me paranoid.

I was so tormented by different questions, that I was about to sit on the floor there.

"It seems that you became friends with Lua"

That was until I heard my brother's voice and I raised my head immediately, looking for his whereabouts. He was nowhere near, which I thought was weird, because I was sure I had heard him close by. I looked everywhere, ending approaching to the door of one of the rooms that were close.

When I looked in I could see him, with his arms folded and a serious expression on his face. I frowned, what was he doing? About what and to who he was speaking? From where I stood he couldn't see me and I couldn't see if there anyone else was in the room, so I was about to enter.

"Yes, that's right"

I froze in my place when I heard Seth's voice coming from the other side of the room, but my feet were smart enough to take a step back before going into shock. What was doing my brother talking to Seth? Oh, please, why I ask for? Elliot hates him!

"As you have seen, my sister is not very social ... you know, so you're one of her first friends since she returned from Ireland. She trusts you. She even told you about... _that_" His tone was pure poison to the last word, and I knew why.

Elliot had blamed himself long after the accident, had accompanied me to all the appointments with the psychologist and therapist, saying that if he could help with my recovery he would do everything in his power.

He hated with all his soul what had happened that day.

I could see how, even by the profile, Elliot was not happy in the least. His expression was one that looked very rarely, but usually it had something to do with Jake and his friends.

"But we both know that until now you had not done anything to help my sister" I saw his figure stepped forward, away from my field of vision, but his words were clear enough to miss the conversation "take back a single step, make a single mistake, just give me one reason to believe that you want to hurt Lua, and you will not longer have to worry about your future, because I'll make sure that there is not going to be any future. Understood? "

It was the first time in my life that I wanted to hit Elliot.

I really wanted to. I wanted to get him unconscious for saying that. I thought he was respecting my decision- He even said he was in favor of it! But all he would do with his words was to make Seth stay away from us!

I knew from the start that the situation was too good to be true.

And Seth's silence made it worse.

"Apparently I have not left my intentions completely clear to you, Elliot" And for the same reasons, I was surprised on hearing Seth's voice calm, as he had been the first time he had spoken "I care about your sister"

Didn't try to hear more of the conversation- didn't pay attention to anything until a figure stood in front of me.

I stood there, watching my brother come out the door and turn in the same direction that I was. He seemed quite surprised to find me there, but looked at me the same way for a few seconds before smiling slightly and reach with his hand my head.

"Movie Night" He reminded me before keep walking away.

My feet would not move from its place for a full minute, but when I stepped into the classroom he immediately turned to me, looking utterly surprised to see me there, apparently ready to ask me something, surely why I was there. But my eyes said it all. He had noticed that, so he shut his mouth, looking pretty serious for a moment too long as to make me like it.

Silence filled the room for a moment. At which point I just started looking at the floor. Or at least I did until I could see as he stepped forward, reaching his hand to take mine.

I was tempted to walk away.

But that though was mesmerized by how weird I felt his skin against mine, so strangely well they our hands matched together. And apparently when I didn't get away he was approached the other to take the hand that was missing, pressing them gently. I lift my head, and as I had imagined he was smiling-smiling in the same way he had been smiling on the cliff.

"It may not be the smartest, but I have confidence in me, that's my strong point" he smirked "Maybe we didn't start in the best way, nor do I think you now have complete confidence in me, but I want to make you realize that I really want to be close to my goal "

"It's complicated ..."

"If I think I can't understand if you don't try to explain it to me"

He was right. I was so hurt to I admit.

But I was tired of running away from your curiosity.

"I don't like people looking at me, not people to be close to me" I mumbled, but contrary to everything I was saying, I squeeze his hands a little "It's been so long since the last time, that I begun to hate it, and everyone looked at me, as I said nothing ... it's stupid, but it was something that I had chosen so I couldn't say anything"

I wait in silence, waiting for him to say something else, but I had already said too much. Complaining about such things aloud was a luxury that I never had, and it was certainly not something I wanted to share with someone. Why should I torment my only friends with my problems? It didn't seem fair, not fair at all.

"But I like to look at you"

The words slipped so easily through my ears that it surprised me about how I still was in one piece instead of running out the door. I could feel my heart in my throat just for listen to those words, and honestly didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to see me this pathetic.

But apparently he had other plans.

He released one of my hands to put his hand on my left cheek, lifting my face too easily. Why I was not resisting? Oh, is because my body was not responding.

"I like to be around you" He said with a warm smile, soft, sweet, as if we knew each other a lifetime "I know you don't like to hear this, but you're small" I immediately opened my mouth, ready to replicate as a reflex, but he went on "I'm the youngest in my family, and even before my dad died they never let me do great things, but with you is different" He took my hand again, lifting them a bit "is the first time I feel I can protect something- something important "

"I'm not ... I'm not important" I shrugged, suddenly feeling my cheeks heat.

"To me you are" He squeezed my hands slightly "You're my precious friend"

Although, mostly, my heart beat with joy to hear how he referred to me, I could feel in one of the corners of my chest a hint of pain by his words- I decided to ignore for now.

"And that means you'll have to trust me a little" I started to reply when he took off my glasses, so fast that I couldn't help it. My first instinct was to lift my arm to grab them, but his eyes were connected with mine with sufficient intensity to stop me "Whatever the reason is, I know you don't like to walk without this, but from now on when you're alone with me you take them away " and he smiled" It will be like a treatment"

"I think there is no point ..."

"I will make it then" He smiled, and for some reason, I returned a little "is a promise"


	8. NOTICE

Well, so, this is... kind o sad. Well, after long of thinking, both you and me agree on that this fic has no future, so I decide to stop it. I started a "intent" of rewrite, and I wrote under another account, is LukaYueres and the fic is named "with love, a stranger", so if you are interestd on it I would be very happy if you read it.

I'm very sorry, believe me.


End file.
